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  1. Offroad's Avatar
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    #1

    is Egypt free?

    Dear teachers

    I start this thread saying that I mean no offense to anyone or any nation. I do respect them all and treat them equally. This text does express my opinion, however, I must ask those who felt insulted to ignore it as I do not intend to discuss politics here.

    I just want to know if this text is correct English.

    After following headlines of a few widely read online newspapers, it is impossible not to mention the resignation of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarack, from The Telegraph to The New York Times. It can be easily noticed the pressure put forth by USA on the ‘step down’ by Mr. Mubarack. Of course, the Egyptian nation is now celebrating a huge victory; no nation should be ruled by a single man for more than four or eight years, let alone three decades. But it raises more questions: What next? Are Egypt ready to create a new order? Why are USA meddling? Is it because they are the most qualified to advice on what to do next? Egypt had better not think so. Is this going to happen to other countries in the Middle East where there is dictatorship? Unlikely, otherwise, how are USA going to keep their imperialism if there is no fanatic group to sell guns to?

    Many thanks

    Offroad
    Last edited by Offroad; 13-Feb-2011 at 22:38.

  2. euncu's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: is Egypt free?

    Others will help you out for the entire text but while I was reading your text, the first thing that struck my eyes was your use of the acronym "USA" as plural. I googled this and I found this following article from the net;

    BBC Serbian | Questions about English

    I'd use it as "The (you missed this one too) USA is... " but I believe that some of our native-speaker members will enlighten us about this.

  3. Offroad's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: is Egypt free?

    Quote Originally Posted by euncu View Post
    Others will help you out for the entire text but while I was reading your text, the first thing that struck my eyes was your use of the acronym "USA" as plural. I googled this and I found this following article from the net;

    BBC Serbian | Questions about English

    I'd use it as "The (you missed this one too) USA is... " but I believe that some of our native-speaker members will enlighten us about this.
    I prefer the plural form, like in 'Brazil play Turkey tonight', 'USA play England'

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    #4

    Re: is Egypt free?

    No nation should be ruled by a single man for more than four or eight years,- I would change man to person, after all look at who's in charge of your country now. Also there's a considerable difference between four and eight, so the statement seems to undermine itself- I would set a single top limit if that is what you mean..

  4. Raymott's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: is Egypt free?

    Quote Originally Posted by Offroad View Post
    I prefer the plural form, like in 'Brazil play Turkey tonight', 'USA play England'
    "Are Egypt ready to create a new order?" sounds very strange, as does "USA are ..."
    I don't think you can generalise from football players to ... er, what are you generalising to?

  5. Offroad's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: is Egypt free?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    "Are Egypt ready to create a new order?" sounds very strange, as does "USA are ..."
    I don't think you can generalise from football players to ... er, what are you generalising to?
    I meant the government. The whole team.

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    #7

    Re: is Egypt free?

    I am not a teacher.

    After following headlines of a few widely read online newspapers, it is impossible not to mention the resignation of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarack, from The Telegraph to The New York Times.

    Garbled. I can only guess at the meaning: Having followed the headlines in a few widely read online newspapers, from The Telegraph to The New York Times, I find it impossible not to mention the resignation of Egyptian president Hosni Mubarack.


    It can be easily noticed the pressure put forth by USA on the ‘step down’ by Mr. Mubarack.

    Trying to keep as many of your words and locutions as possible: One can easily see the pressure exerted by the USA behind Mr. Mubarack's stepping down.


    Of course, the Egyptian nation is now celebrating a huge victory; no nation should be ruled by a single man for more than four or eight years, let alone three decades.

    Tdol is right; "man" should be "person". The semicolon is sagging. "Of course" comes out of nowhere. "Huge" is cliche, and "victory" is empty. Maybe: The Egyptian nation is now celebrating a victory of the populace over the powermonger; no nation should be ruled by a single person for more than four or eight years, let alone three decades. [I am ignoring the politics, too, but it is a tad ironic that you decry meddling by the US and then use their presidential term limits in your argument. That's just a copyeditor's observation.]


    But it raises more questions: What next? Are Egypt ready to create a new order? Why are USA meddling? Is it because they are the most qualified to advice on what to do next? Egypt had better not think so.

    Countries are thought of as entities, not collectives, in English on both sides of the Atlantic and are therefore grammatically singular. But we do rather carelessly switch to "they" or "we" when we feel like it. As before: But new questions arise: What comes next? Is Egypt ready to create a new order? Why is the USA meddling? Is it because they are the most qualified to advise on what to do next? Egypt had better not think so.


    Is this going to happen to other countries in the Middle East where there is dictatorship? Unlikely, otherwise, how are USA going to keep their imperialism if there is no fanatic group to sell guns to?

    "Otherwise" is unnecessary with the contrapuntal argument. "Fanatic" can technically be used there, but the reader trips over it, wondering whether the adjectival form "fanatical" wouldn't be better and then realizing that it wouldn't. Try: Is this going to happen to other countries in the Middle East where there is dictatorship? Unlikely, because how is the USA going to keep their imperialism if there is no extremist group to sell guns to? [Another substantive note, if you don't mind. Rhetorical questions must have obvious answers; you seem to be taking as self-evident aspects of American foreign policy that are not. Even when you preach to the choir, you should say what you mean.]


  6. Khosro's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: is Egypt free?

    Quote Originally Posted by Coolfootluke View Post
    I am not a teacher.

    Trying to keep as many of your words and locutions as possible: One can easily see the pressure exerted by the USA behind Mr. Mubarack's stepping down.


    Of course, the Egyptian nation is now celebrating a huge victory; no nation should be ruled by a single man for more than four or eight years, let alone three decades.

    Tdol is right; "man" should be "person". The semicolon is sagging. "Of course" comes out of nowhere. "Huge" is cliche, and "victory" is empty. Maybe: The Egyptian nation is now celebrating a victory of the populace over the powermonger; no nation should be ruled by a single person for more than four or eight years, let alone three decades. [I am ignoring the politics, too, but it is a tad ironic that you decry meddling by the US and then use their presidential term limits in your argument. That's just a copyeditor's observation.]

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Is this going to happen to other countries in the Middle East where there is dictatorship? Unlikely, otherwise, how are USA going to keep their imperialism if there is no fanatic group to sell guns to?

    [Another substantive note, if you don't mind. Rhetorical questions must have obvious answers; you seem to be taking as self-evident aspects of American foreign policy that are not. Even when you preach to the choir, you should say what you mean.]

    About the first part:
    1- It's not really ironic as far as four or eight years is not considered american "presidential term limits".
    2- But "One can easily see the pressure exerted by the USA behind Mr. Mubarack's stepping down." is ambigious. Is it good? is it bad? And apart from being good or bad, what is the quality and truth of it? The writer does not take sides. Some consider it an advantage, I dont.

    About the second part:
    "Rhetorical questions must have obvious answers". Is coolfootluce right about it?

  7. Offroad's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: is Egypt free?

    pressure exerted by USA
    pressure put forth by USA


    Why is the former preferable?

    Thanks

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    #10

    Re: is Egypt free?

    Quote Originally Posted by Khosro View Post
    About the second part:
    "Rhetorical questions must have obvious answers". Is coolfootluce right about it?
    I don't agree with it. The basic problem seems to be the relativity of obviousness.

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