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    Persuasive Essay Help?

    Hey, I'm in 8th grade and I just wrote a persuasive essay on why school should start later. Could you just help in any way? ( Grammar, vocab, etc. )

    It's supposed to be a 3 sentence beginning and conclusion with 3 body paragraphs and a counter argument after the 3 body paragraphs.
    The body paragraphs are in this form:
    Topic Sentence, Concrete Detail, Concrete Detail, Commentary, Concluding Sentence.

    In the past school has always started early in the morning. Today, school still starts early; however starting school later can be good for kids. For many reason, starting school later can be very beneficial to kids.

    Starting school later can give kids more time to get ready in the morning so they won’t be late to school. Many kids are late because they wake up too late and therefore, miss school time. They are also rushed to get to school every morning. This shows that kids are stressed from waking up to get to school on time and can miss school time. As a result, many kids are late and unprepared for school.

    Furthermore, if school started later, kids could get more sleep. Most kids don’t get enough sleep because they have to wake up for school, this can stunt their growth and make them tired. Kids need nine to eleven hours of sleep so they can be well rested and healthy. This shows that early school time can be damaging to a child’s health. Therefore, the later school times can promote a child’s health.

    Most importantly, starting school later will let kids get more rest so they can be mentally focused and do better in school. If kids get more sleep, they won’t be tired so they’ll be more productive. If kids are more productive, they can learn more and go through lessons faster. Therefore, later school times can give kids a better education and with it, a better future.

    Despite all of this, some people believe that school shouldn’t end later because it means school will end later. Even though that is inconvenient, people will soon be able to adapt to it. Also, the advantages of starting school later far outweigh the disadvantages. It is obvious that starting school later is better than starting school early.

    In this essay, reasons were given to persuade the reader that starting school later has many benefits. Our job is to let kids be healthy and do better in school. In conclusion, starting school later can be very beneficial to kids.

    Thanks in advance!
    Last edited by Th3KaNgSt3R; 15-Feb-2011 at 02:21.

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