Could you help me please?

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Teia

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Hi


Could you please help me with the following sentence? I`d like to make it sound better than I tried to do it:

You get to break his daily routine and mess up his mornings while he is at work, relaxing at home and even when he is asleep.


The idea is that the character involved ruins somebody`s mornings, work at the office, time of relaxing and even his sleep.

Thank you so much in advance
 

Raymott

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Jun 29, 2008
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Hi


Could you please help me with the following sentence? I`d like to make it sound better than I tried to do it:

You get to break his daily routine and mess up his mornings while he is at work, relaxing at home and even when he is asleep.


The idea is that the character involved ruins somebody`s mornings, work at the office, time of relaxing and even his sleep.

Thank you so much in advance
"You get to break his daily work routine, and mess up his mornings at work. You can't leave him alone when he's relaxing at home, and you even disturb his sleep!"

There are an infinite number of ways you can say this. If this is dialogue, a long grammatically correct sentence might not be the answer. The repeated use of "you" in the above version fits with the accusatory tone of the sentence (if I've read the mood right).
 

5jj

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Oct 14, 2010
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You have posted this question twice. Please do not do this. Double posting can lead to confusuion when different people post answers without knowing what has already been written.
 
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