
Student or Learner
Please, check if the following passage is grammatically correct. Thanks
Country A is far more geographically closer to the focal points of conflict in the region. It has witnessed its neighboring country falling apart and undergoing bloodshed. Millions of refugees from that country, who in recent years have fled to capital A and other cities in country A, are the best indication to that bloodshed. Its neighboring country to the west is constantly on the verge of civil war. In addition, country A is still in a state of war with country E. The fear of country A of a possible flare-up and a new round of fighting between it and country E, serves as a justification for the regime of country A to strengthen its legitimacy and mobilize broad public support behind it. Unlike country A, country B is geographically far away from the focal points of conflict in the region and has been in a state of peace with country E more than three decades.
The fear of country A of a possible flare-up and a new round of fighting between it and country E, serves as a justification for the regime of country A to....
This is correct English, but there is a possibility that, on first reading, one might initially understand it as (Some other country's) fear of country A... The reader could be halfway through the sentence before realising the mis-reading, and then have to start again. This possibility could be avoided by writing Country A's fear of a possible flare-up... .
Repetition of 'country A' could be avoided by changing to: Country A's fear of a possible flare-up and a new round of fighting between it and country E serves as a justification for the regime of the former country to...
Of course, if you name the countries in your final version, you could write: Aissuria's fear of a possible flareup and a new round of fighting between it and Rureutania serves as a justification for the Aissurian regime to ...
There should be no comma before serves; you must not separate a subject, Aissuria's fear, from its verb, serves, by a single comma.
Bookmarks