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    #1

    Is this sentence correct?

    I realize that ****** College has raised many award-winning students. I wish I could be one of them.




    This is the sentence I typed when I answered a question that asked me why I want to study a program with the college I applied. Is it correct?

    Thanks!

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Is this sentence correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Daryl.L View Post
    I realize that ****** College has raised many award-winning students. I wish I could be one of them.




    This is the sentence I typed when I answered a question that asked me why I want to study a program with the college I applied. Is it correct?

    Thanks!
    Don't use "raised" use "educated" or "trained".

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    #3

    Re: Is this sentence correct?

    Thanks for your suggestion. so my sentence is correct still?

  2. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Is this sentence correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Daryl.L View Post
    Thanks for your suggestion. so my sentence is correct still?
    Your two sentences are fine, if you don't use "raised".

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Is this sentence correct?

    Your second sentence is not grammatically incorrect, but I think you would be closer to your intended meaning if you said:
    I would like to be one of them.
    Or: I wish to be one of them.
    Or even: I hope to be one of them.


    By saying "I wish I could be one of them" you are admitting defeat -- you are not and cannot be one of them. But I bet you COULD be.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #6

    Re: Is this sentence correct?

    Wow! That sounds a lot better! I feel I have more confidence when I read your correction out loud. Thank you so much!

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