I will try to correct some of the obvious errors. It is a good essay - good luck to you in your future of international relations!
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Elita Yunanda. I am a student currently enrolled in Universitas Pembangunan Nasional “Veteran” Yogyakarta majoring [in]International Relation[s]. I wish to apply for the International Youth Exchange Program,especially[particularly the] Indonesia-Canada Youth Exchange Program (ICYEP).I would also kindly like to introduce myself for the candidacy opportunity to be nominated for[It would be a great honor to be selected into the] Indonesia-Canada Youth Exchange Program (ICYEP)during[for] 2011-2012.
I would like first to briefly introduce myself. I come from a family that valuescultural[our culture] highly. I have been a person who likes to work with numbers since I started at school. I have always been motivated by my parents[,] especially my mother[,] and I always do the best I can at my studies. Therefore, I have always been one of the best students from primary school to university. I am a high achiever with outstanding study and performance habits.
My strengthsare my[include]: self-confidence, focus, passion,optimistic[optimism], and perseverance. I am a highly motivated,initiativeself-starting, hard-working, and ambitious person. Furthermore, I am responsible and considerate. I amgood at working[able to effectively work] individuallyand also good at[as well as] working as part of a team. I easily adapt to new situations, and I make friends easily. I am a person who always learns from my mistakes and failures. My weaknesses are my: doubt, frustrations, and being stagnant. [is there any way to make these weaknesses sound better - maybe, "despite my many successes, I still sometimes have doubts". "I can get frustrated when despite my hard work my plans are not fully realized" does this make sense?]
During my studies, I have gained a theoretical and practical background in social politics especiallyhow to[concerning]negotiating[negotiation] and diplomacy. I am familiar with international or national issues[new sentence]because in my courses, there are always[My courses involve ] analyzing, describing[, and] even explainingseveral[many]issuessocial,andpolitical[ , and] economicsglobal [issues]. Ihave to presentations[am required to present] my paper[s]so this[which] helps me to be able to speak in front of people easily and clearly.
My studiesare[involve] analyzing, describing and explaining several issues both international and national,include[[including] Europe[an] Union issues such as Canada. [but Canada is not part of the European Union ??] Beside[s] fundamental diplomatic knowledge,also study{I have also studied]aboutmilitarybase ofsecurity and [national] defense [issues]that became national aspect. Even though my undergraduate program has given me a strong background in the fundamentals of various international relation[s], such as social, political, and economic. This[, this] is not enough for me to be a professional. I [must ] havetomore practice to enrich my skills and broaden my knowledge.
Though I enjoy my courses, I alwayshave[had] the dreamto be able to continue[of continuing] my study in social-politics abroad. Icame[have come] to realize that my knowledge is still limited in many areas. But in my country, unfortunately, there are very few opportunities in this area,in which[so] it is difficult to enhance my potential. Encouraged bythe lecturers[my professors], I decided to apply for the International Youth Exchange Program 2011.
I believe that this programhas[will have] a positive impact for my study because ittake in[focuses on the] study of International Relation[s]. All human activity in fields such as information technology, economics, physics,social[sociology] as well as others, will run well if they arecited[sited] within a good diplomatic framework. This fact stimulated me toattend the[major in] International Relation[s] at Universitas Pembangunan Nasional “Veteran” Yogyakarta. I chose Negotiation-Diplomacy as my specialization even though at that time, not many people knew about essential[ity] of diplomatic relation[s]. Many people just knew about international relations but could not explain more about it.
The reason I choose [the]Indonesia-Canada Youth Exchange program (ICYEP) is because of its fascinating and prestigious program. I have read through the course descriptions which are offered and I believe that your top level program can benefit me in many areas.
Meanwhile, located in Canada [ Canada is not a city - name the city], a city of culture and high technology, the chance to studyat[in] Canada would give me the opportunity to exchange information with other students from different cultures and nationalities. I can meet different kind[s] of peoplethat[who] will give me different point[s] of views, thus, contributingfor[to] my flexibility and creativity, besides the cultural and language gains.
With high-quality education in multidisciplinary courses in combination with a good atmosphere, I am confident that I will have apleasant stay[enriching experience] as wonderful as it has been for previous participants. In addition,with my good[I have] skill[s] in speaking English,skill[the] dancing of [my] traditional culture, sewing,little skill of[and I even know a little] magic. I know that in ICYEPneed ofcultural aspect[s] [are an important] part of culture diplomatic mission from Indonesia.
I consider myself to be a good candidate for ICYEP because I am a young, energetic, hardworking, visionary, and motivated person, and I believe that I can do something for the benefit of my country where I have been studying. I have done my best and given the maximum effort I could give for my institution. But this is not enough,[.] I am not satisfied yet with what I have done. I believe that I can do much better if I am trained and developed further,by this program.
Thank you in advance for considering my application.
YoursFaithfully[sincerely],
Elita Yunanda

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