[Essay] How does it sound? Is it grammatically correct?

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dilodi83

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You recently took part in an exchange programme in Canada where you stayed with a Canadian student for four weeks. The editor of the English language newspaper at your college has now asked you to write an article for the newspaper, describing what you enjoyed about your visit, explaining any problems you had and encouraging readers to take part in the exchange programme.

A few weeks ago, while I was walking in a corridor of my college and having a chat with a classmate, I came across an original advertisement for an exchange programme in Canada. I thought at once it could be a very interesting and fruitful chance to improve my English, so I made up my mind to try it. I decided to go to Canada for four weeks. The programme was very clear and I enjoyed the vacation so much. They found me a family where to stay and I spent the four weeks with them. They managed to make me feel at home and I soon grew fond of them. I shared the room with a 21 years old boy, whose name is Micky, and we had a great time together. He just spoke English, so I had to try to speak in English as much as I could to communicate with him. The first week it was quite difficult to communicate in English because I had never done it before and I was not able to do it, but in the end I managed to do it and it was great when we got started to understand each other.
There was not so much to do in the evenings, so we both usually used to stay at home, watching the tv or telling us about ourselves. Sometimes her mother, who I'd like to thank for taking care of me and treating me as a child, used to bring us a cake just to make our evenings more pleasent. Her cakes are the best in the world! If only I think again about her cakes, my mother is watering! :) Anyway, they showed me around all the time I stayed there. I even saw the Rocky Mountain bears! We did not have the possibility to go camping because the weather was not that good, so when going to see the Rocky Mountain, we had already decided to get back home in the evening. Apart from this, I would like to recommend this kind of experience to everybody who wants to take it easy, just spending four great weeks abroad and, contemporaneously, to all those people who feel the need to improve their English knowledge with an exstraordinary experience of life.
You only need to pay your travel costs - and even though it is a little bit expensive, it's worth it! You also ought to take some money to live there. You do not need anything else. The results of a better knowledge of the English language are assured! So phone the number that you can find in the exchange programme, call for any types of information and get ready for leaving (for the departure)!
 

luschen

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Hi, hopefully this will be helpful - let me know if you have any questions.

You recently took part in an exchange programme in Canada where you stayed with a Canadian student for four weeks. The editor of the English language newspaper at your college has now asked you to write an article for the newspaper, describing what you enjoyed about your visit, explaining any problems you had and encouraging readers to take part in the exchange programme.

A few weeks ago, while I was walking in a corridor of my college and having a chat with a classmate, I came across an original[original is the wrong word here, what are you trying to say?] advertisement for an exchange programme in Canada. I thought at once it could be a very interesting and fruitful chance to improve my English, so I made up my mind to try it. I decided to go to Canada for four weeks. The programme was very clear and I enjoyed the vacation[say experience - vacation is pretty specific to a beach or sight-seeing holiday or so forth] so much. They found me a family [STRIKE]where to stay[/STRIKE][to stay with] and I spent the [entire] four weeks with them. They managed to make me feel at home and I soon grew fond of them. I shared the room with a 21 [STRIKE]years[/STRIKE][year] old boy, whose name is Micky, and we had a great time together. He [STRIKE]just[/STRIKE][only] spoke English, so I had to try to speak in English as much as I could to communicate with him. The first week it was quite difficult to communicate in English because I had never done it before[STRIKE] and I was not able to do it[/STRIKE]{this part was redundant}, but in the end I managed to [STRIKE]do it[/STRIKE][improve my English] and it was great when we [STRIKE]got[/STRIKE] started to understand each other.
There was not so much to do in the evenings, so we both usually [STRIKE]used to [/STRIKE]stay[ed] at home, watching the tv or telling [STRIKE]us[/STRIKE] about ourselves. Sometimes [STRIKE]her[/STRIKE][his] mother, who I'd like to thank for taking care of me and treating me [STRIKE]as a[/STRIKE][like her own] child, used to bring us a cake just to make our evenings more pleasent. Her cakes are the best in the world! [STRIKE]If only I think again[/STRIKE]["Whenever I think" or "even now if I think" ] about her cakes, my mother[hopefully you meant mouth!] [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE][starts] watering! :) Anyway, they showed me around all the time I stayed there. I even saw the Rocky Mountain bears! We did not have the [STRIKE]possibility[/STRIKE][chance] to go camping because the weather was not that good, so [STRIKE]when[/STRIKE][after] going to see the Rocky Mountain, we had [STRIKE]already[/STRIKE] decided to get back home in the evening. Apart from this, I would like to recommend this kind of experience to everybody who wants to take it easy, just spending four great weeks abroad {on second thought, maybe it was a vacation after all!}and, contemporaneously{this means in the same time period, like disco and bell bottoms were contemporaneous - I guess I would say "at the same time"}, to all those people who feel the need to improve their English knowledge with an extraordinary [STRIKE]experience of life[/STRIKE][life experience].
You only need to pay your travel costs - and even though it is a little bit expensive, it's worth it! You also ought to take some money to live there[this is called "spending money" money for extra stuff like movies, restaurants, coffee]. You do not need anything else. The results of a [STRIKE]better[/STRIKE][improved] knowledge of the English language are assured! So phone the number [STRIKE]that you can find in[/STRIKE][for] the exchange programme, call for any types of information and get ready for leaving (for the departure){yes, get ready for your departure}!
 

dilodi83

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Thanks again for your help. I have just a few questions about the corrections
1) I had written: We have not had the possibility to go camping...
You wrote: We have not had the chance to camping...
What's the difference?
2) I had written: with an exstraordinary experience of life...
You wrote: with an exstraordinary life experience...
What's the difference? Are they both possible?
3) At the end of the essay: get ready for leaving/ get ready for the departure...
Are they both correct?
 

luschen

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Thanks again for your help. I have just a few questions about the corrections
1) I had written: We have not had the possibility to go camping...
You wrote: We have not had the chance to camping...
What's the difference?
2) I had written: with an exstraordinary experience of life...
You wrote: with an exstraordinary life experience...
What's the difference? Are they both possible?
3) At the end of the essay: get ready for leaving/ get ready for the departure...
Are they both correct?

1. If you use possibility you have to say "We did not had the possibility of going camping" , but it still doesn't sound right to me somehow - I'm sorry I can't come up with a good reason.

2. When you say "extraordinary experience of life", extraordinary describes "experience of life" which implies your entire life experience has been extraordinary, your entire life has been extraordinary. When I say extraordinary life experience, I am first stressing that is was an experience - what kind of experience? A life experience. What kind of life experience? an extraordinary one.

3. It could be either "get ready to leave" or "get ready for your departure"

Maybe you can post

A "We have did not have the possibility of going camping"

B "We did not have the possibility to go camping"

C "We did not have the chance to go camping"

in the ask a teacher forum and see which is correct and why
 
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