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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
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      • Punjabi
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      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    it's an idea for tv ad..please check the style.

    I have penned an idea for tv ad, please tell me how you find it and also point out, grammar mistakes if any.

    Scene starts with
    A man is cycling by side of a river, suddenly he sees that far away on the other side a man is drowning inside the river, he is trying to float and screaming for a help. But in vain nobody is able to help him as the flow of river is more. Now this man pedals faster to reach the spot, so he can help him. As soon as he reaches there, he throws his ciycle away, takes down his bag & takes out Lima (cold drink bottle) & a hammer from the bag. He gulps down bottle quickly. We will show that as he gulps the bottle, a cool breeze wraps around him (the same effect as we see when we open refrigeratorís door) but with some electrifying effects. Now he picks up the hammer and start running and gradually increases his speed. And like a long jumper, athletic, he jumps onto the river. During his running cameras will only so the close up of the man.
    He lands on it(river) safely, now camera zooms out, you can see whole river is freeze into ice (thatís the power of coolness he got after drinking cold drink)
    Now that child is tangled between big ice cube, this man with the help of hammer takes him out and brings him out. As the child is full exhausted, man offers him cold drink. After drinking it child is back to normal and very happy. At last line cooling effect


  2. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #2

    Re: it's an idea for tv ad..please check the style.

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    I have penned an idea for tv ad, please tell me how you find it and also point out, grammar mistakes if any.

    Scene starts with
    A man is cycling by side of a river, suddenly he sees that far away on the other side a man is drowning inside the river, he is trying to float and screaming for a help. But in vain nobody is able to help him as the flow of river is more. Now this man pedals faster to reach the spot, so he can help him. As soon as he reaches there, he throws his ciycle away, takes down his bag & takes out Lima (cold drink bottle) & a hammer from the bag. He gulps down bottle quickly. We will show that as he gulps the bottle, a cool breeze wraps around him (the same effect as we see when we open refrigerator’s door) but with some electrifying effects. Now he picks up the hammer and start running and gradually increases his speed. And like a long jumper, athletic, he jumps onto the river. During his running cameras will only so the close up of the man.
    He lands on it(river) safely, now camera zooms out, you can see whole river is freeze into ice (that’s the power of coolness he got after drinking cold drink)
    Now that child is tangled between big ice cube, this man with the help of hammer takes him out and brings him out. As the child is full exhausted, man offers him cold drink. After drinking it child is back to normal and very happy. At last line cooling effect
    I am still waiting that someone should read it and give me honest feedback

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