A passage for editing please

[Ever Student]

Hello,

Would you please make correction of the passage below?

Topic for writing:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

"Actions speak louder than words"
use specific reasons and examples to support your response:

"Paragraph I"

I agree with this saying. As this behavior is simply seen in each large or small society, from a small family to the governmental organizations. We can often find out our relatives, especially our parents do not as they say. It is the same as a slogan that they use it but they will not do as they promise. For instance, the parents give a promise to their kids that they will buy for them a special toy or toys; however, they will easily forget what they have said to their children before.

It will continue......

 

[luschen]

Hi, please see my suggestions below. The introductory paragraph should really just introduce the argument and any options and then end with a thesis statement stating the specific point you will try to make.

Hello,

Would you please make correction of the passage below?

Topic for writing:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

"Actions speak louder than words"
use specific reasons and examples to support your response:

"Paragraph I"

I agree with this saying.{Include the saying in your essay - the essay should stand alone} As this behavior{what behavior?} is simply seen in each large or small society, from a small family to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] governmental organizations. We [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] often find {discover might be a better word here} [STRIKE]out[/STRIKE] our relatives, especially our parents {comma here} do not as they say. It is the same as a slogan that they use [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] but they will not do as they promise. For instance, [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] parents [STRIKE]give[/STRIKE][make] a promise to their kids that they will buy for them a special toy or toys; however, they will easily forget what they have said to their children before.

It will continue......

 

[Ever Student]

Hi, please see my suggestions below. The introductory paragraph should really just introduce the argument and any options and then end with a thesis statement stating the specific point you will try to make.

thank you.