Student or Learner
Teachers, you are requested to have a look at this piece of writing and suggest corrections if required.
Having problem in concluding the paragraph.
A wonderful dog
The moment I enter my home, I am greeted by a wonderful friend and companion of mine, Tony- my dog. He is such a darling for me that I miss him whenever I am out of the home. He is brown in colour and about 3 feet tall. He has big long ears always hung downwards. Three strands of hair standing straight up on his head make him look funny. His two brown eyes outlined with thin black lashes are as deep as an ocean. He has a small nose with a big black dot on it. The front two legs are curved outwards. He is very smart and stubborn by nature. When he doesn’t want to eat his cookies, he hides them in the sand in the backyard. He is scared of my father only. He doesn’t like bathing but loves to roll in mud.
He wags his tail whenever he has to show his love for others. He likes to play with balls. Whenever we throw a ball away, he fetches it to us. During winters he curls up in our laps, all snug and warm. He becomes angry very soon if we don’t pay attention to him. He barks as loud as possible if hungry. I still remember the day when he was brought by my mother. He was only 7 days old, couldn’t even walk properly. Every time he would try to walk, he would fall down, for he was too short heighted that his stomach would touch the ground, causing him problem to walk properly. We fed him milk by a bottle. He would chewed our sandals if we didn’t take him out with us. We cherish his childhood memories. He has become a member of our family.
Last edited by Roselin; 08-May-2011 at 16:47.
I have changed the pronoun from it to he. Would you please have a look at that again and tell me if any more correction is required?
That's a very nice essay. Makes me miss my dog from when I was a child.
Gillnetter, I'm curious about this sentence:
I would have changed it to "we cherish our memories of his childhood" or "we cherish the memories of him as a puppy". Do you consider the original to be okay? I mean it's obvious what the writer is trying to say. It just reads weird to me.We cherish his childhood memories.