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    #1

    Whom or Who?

    You are the 1st girl WHOM / WHO I came across saying this about the music?


    Is it WHOM or WHO?

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Whom or Who?

    I'd omit the first pronoun and change the tense. Actually, I'd change a lot.

    You're the first girl I've come across to say that about music.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #3

    Re: Whom or Who?

    Quote Originally Posted by prattsishunk View Post
    You are the 1st girl WHOM / WHO I came across saying this about the music?


    Is it WHOM or WHO?

    ***** A NON-TEACHER's COMMENT *****


    (1) You have asked a super controversial question (that is,

    people have many different ideas).

    (2) You could probably say:

    You are the first girl that/who/whom I have ever really loved.

    As the moderator told us, you could also use no relative pronoun:

    You are the first girl I have ever really loved.

    (3) Since you are a learner, you are probably looking for some

    rules. Am I right? May I share some ideas with you?

    (a) I believe that some books recommend "that" when your sentence

    has an ordinal number such as "first."

    (b) If you do not want "that," then some people (who are trying to

    write "perfect" book English) would recommend "whom."

    (c) Many people would probably use "who." The people who like

    "whom" say that "who" is wrong. But many native speakers use it.

    (4) Therefore, you have four choices: "that," "whom," "who," or

    nothing.

    (a) In my opinion only, you should use "that" or "whom."


    Respectfully yours,


    James

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    #4

    Re: Whom or Who?

    The use of "whom" is in decline among native speakers. In most cases using "who" is not going to be seen as wrong.

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