I am preparing for the ielts. could anyone help to comment the essay? Thanks in advance!

the topic: The internet has altered out lives over the past few decades. although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. what is your opinion?

My answers:

With the development of the internet, dramatic alterations in our life have been performed during the past few decades. The huge impacts from intensive network technology on our work and life draw arguments among people about the effects from it. In accordance with my experience, I consider its benefits overweight its drawbacks.
Internet renovates the communication methods in modern life. It was not surprising that two decades ago writing a letter was the main approach for people to keep in touch with each other. Business man found waiting to get a reply letter from the another company aboard was a time-consuming, boring and ineffective work. However, Email, created with the developed internet, makes the distance not a problem any more. Moreover, people can chat on the internet even see each other wherever how far they live. Most of business issues are dealt with by the methods on the network basis now. We could not imagine our work without the internet.
Internet alters the ways people learn knowledge and technologies. Searching the internet to find answers when a student has doubt on things is becoming popular rather than going to a library. Network contains knowledge with no limitation to topics, places, decades, ages. It acts as a super library beyond our image. More, you can even enrol an online study course for further education. Who can wipe the positive huge impacts on education from the internet.
No denied that internet brings some bad habits for some people, such as spending too much time in playing games and reducing the time the family joins together. But all these side effects could be coped with by developing good habits. Considering the huge advantages it brings to our life, the drawbacks could be minored and even omitted.