Student or Learner
I need urgent help with my SOP as i need to send it on MOnday.....
Your grammar is acceptable.
You should run it through a spell checker; that will pick up errors like 'storng'
"In my first year of BSc I discovered that I was better at managing things rather than researching them"
You haven't managed this post very well, if you've left it so late. Are you sure this is true?
"Like all children, I too wanted to be a Doctor when I grew up."
It is false that all children want to be doctors. All this demonstrates is a possible lack of appreciation of statistics, and a lack of knowledge of children - neither of which will help you.
"I do not think I could have shouldered the responsibility of being accountable for people’s lives."
I think you should try to accent your strengths rather than highlight you weaknesses. An inability to take responsibility is not a good recommendation for you. Besides, Public Health officials do this too, albeit more indirectly. You should definitely remove this sentence.
"The past three years, as a student of Zoology have been instrumental in preparing me for this course. More than learning the scientific names of animals, I learnt things that have helped me grow as a person."
Yes but Public Health is about humans. Why don't you highlight your knowledge of zoonoses and other animal-borne health problems.
My desire to pursue further education in your esteemed university
... I hope my application to study at your prestigious University
I'm not sure whether this really helps outside India.