[Idiom] Does this idiomatic expression sound natural to a native ear?

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Casp

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*Warning: gross subject!*

For those of you who are native speakers of English, is this idiomatic expression correct English? Do you understand the meaning? Is it too descriptive? The text is about acne:


"The big, ugly red bumps simply shrank, as if a valve to the pus formation had been turned off!"


Many thanks.
 
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Casp

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Thanks very much for your suggestion. I was actually describing something that is closer to a boil than a pimple. Is my suggestion grammatically wrong or can it be used? (it would be nice for me to know - I would prefer to stay as close to the original sentence as possible).
 

Casp

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Yes, "gross" it the right word to use about this subject! Sorry to bring this up - it is obviously taken out of content but that still makes it gross.

Thanks again - I appreciate your help. ;-)
 

Barb_D

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But if you turn off the taps, no more goes in, but there's no reason to think anything goes OUT. I would not assume something shrank or disspearred just because it doesn't get any bigger.
 

Casp

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But if you turn off the taps, no more goes in, but there's no reason to think anything goes OUT. I would not assume something shrank or disspearred just because it doesn't get any bigger.

Thanks for your help. That is actually a good point. Would this work instead?

"It was as if a valve to the pus formation had been turned off - soon after the big, ugly red bumps simply shrank and no new ones appeared."
 

5jj

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"It was as if a valve to the pus formation had been turned off - soon after the big, ugly red bumps simply shrank and no new ones appeared."
The title of your thread is: Does this idiomatic expression sound natural to a native ear?

My answer is an emphatic no.

As Gillnetter said, this is rather gross.

I might not be surprised to find your sentence in a modern novel, but not elsewhere.
 

Casp

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The title of your thread is: Does this idiomatic expression sound natural to a native ear?

My answer is an emphatic no.

As Gillnetter said, this is rather gross.

I might not be surprised to find your sentence in a modern novel, but not elsewhere.

Thanks for your opinion.

Yes, any text that describes anything related to pus is gross by definition - I feel that way too. I only use this idiomatic expression to describe a rather amazing outcome. I guess it doesn't work...

Sorry to gross you out - that wasn't my intention at all :-(
 
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