I'm Doing this Extended metaphor writing in which I compare myself to a lonely shark. I don't understand yet if we can ask for opinions about these kind of things in the forum, but I just need to know if I'm getting my main idea to reach the readers mind ( and also if part of my punctuation is correct/incorrect ).
Thanks in advance to the forum users.
I’m a lonely shark, swimming in a huge ocean. The streets are that ocean, which are full of danger and other bad surprises. I don’t require any help to hunt for the things which I need in this ocean. I also don’t need any company to obtain a great education, since most companies are adversaries. I depend on my own, since the suppose friends are usually enemies. After a long day in the dangerous street, after this long day of receiving my education, I return to an isolation period in my home.
I’m as solitary, as most of the obsolete technologies which were once very important to us all, but are now near forgotten. Therefore I find myself looking for entertainment. With a piece of technology, such as a computer and a video game system I could be isolated from socialization and civilization for my unsociable period of time. But then again the need for things brings me to my main role as a lonely white shark in a vast ocean, with dangers that follow me every day as I hunt for an education. Besides the food I seek, I also look out for myself and how I actually am, what kind of things I like; I look for my education and future career. All of it done by myself in murky and dangerous waters.
Some wonder, if there is ever a moment in which I have company in my life. The answer is “yes” and that is whenever I believe I have found the emotion called “love”. One which many think that is real, but is the one emotion I hate the most, is the one emotion which takes me back to being alone again and again. Love is the emotion which I cannot understand at the moment. Therefore I should wait until I’m a grown shark, in dangerous waters, with experiences farther than any other shark in this vast ocean full of danger.
Vaironl's extended metaphor