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    #1

    The storm

    Is this sentence phrased well? Thanks.

    The delivery took place concurrently with the storm, hitting the area, was losing power.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: The storm

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Is this sentence phrased well? Thanks.

    The delivery took place concurrently with the storm, hitting the area, was losing power.
    The delivery took place at the same time as a storm hit the area, knocking out the power.

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: The storm

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    The delivery took place at the same time as a storm hit the area, knocking out the power.
    This could be interpreted as the delivery knocking out the power. How about:

    The delivery took place at the same time as a storm hit the area and knocked out the power ?

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    #4

    Re: The storm

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    This could be interpreted as the delivery knocking out the power. How about:

    The delivery took place at the same time as a storm hit the area and knocked out the power ?
    I'll try to rephrase the sentence. Maybe my intention will be clearer:

    The delivery took place at the same time as the storm, which hit the area, was weakening.

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    #5

    Re: The storm

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    I'll try to rephrase the sentence. Maybe my intention will be clearer:

    The delivery took place at the same time as the storm, which hit the area, was weakening.
    Ohhhh, it was the storm that was losing power?!! I see.

    The storm was starting to weaken as the delivery took place.
    The delivery took place at the same time as the storm, which was hitting the area, was becoming less powerful/fierce.
    While the delivery was taking place, the storm was also weakening.

    There are rather a lot of ways of saying the same thing. I'm not sure what the relevance is of a delivery taking place and a storm weakening at the same time though.

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