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    #1

    These states

    Is this sentence phrased well? Thanks.


    As for these states, if they still deserve to be referred to as "states", they have sunk into a quagmire of a civil war between tribal coalitions and today they are in complete chaos and actually on the verge of falling apart.

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    #2

    Re: These states

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    As for these states, if they still deserve to be referred to as "states", they have sunk into a quagmire of (a) civil war between tribal coalitions, or ; and today they are in complete chaos, (?) and actually on the verge of falling apart.
    It seems fine to me. Others may have differnt thoughts about punctuation.

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    #3

    Re: These states

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Is this sentence phrased well? Thanks.


    As for these states, if they still deserve to be referred to as "states", they have sunk into a quagmire of a civil war between tribal coalitions and today they are in complete chaos and actually on the verge of falling apart.
    Not a teacher only a native.

    Most of the passage seems fine, just a few 'tweeks' I would add to make it flow better (in my opinion anyway):

    As for these states, if they still deserve to be referred to as "states", they have sunk into a quagmire of civil war between tribal coalitions, in complete chaos and on the verge of falling apart.

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