A quiet revolution

[motico]

Please, check if the following passage is grammatically correct. Thanks!

While the Arab world has been washed by a wave of revolutions, which most of them have deadlocked and it is still unclear whether they will ever achieve their goals, a major revolution, though a quiet one, has taken place in Turkey during the last seven years. We saw the consequences of that revolution in last week's elections which indicated Erdoğan's indisputable victory. ​

 

[bhaisahab]

Please, check if the following passage is grammatically correct. Thanks!

While the Arab world has been washed by a wave of revolutions, of which most are deadlocked, and it is still unclear whether they will ever achieve their goals: a major revolution, though a quiet one, has taken place in Turkey over the last seven years. We saw the consequences of that revolution in last week's elections which resulted in indisputable victory for Erdogan. ​

Bhai.

 

[emsr2d2]

While the Arab world has been washed by a wave of revolutions, of which, most are deadlocked, and it is still unclear whether they will ever achieve their goals: a major revolution, though a quiet one, has taken place in Turkey over the last seven years. We saw the consequences of that revolution in last week's elections which resulted in indisputable victory for Erdogan.

Bhai - this is what you posted. Can I just ask about the use of commas in your first sentence? It strikes me that there's one too many. Or am I reading it wrong?

I'm also wondering if the colon after the word "goals" shouldn't be a comma.
​

 

[bhaisahab]

While the Arab world has been washed by a wave of revolutions, of which most are deadlocked, and it is still unclear whether they will ever achieve their goals: a major revolution, though a quiet one, has taken place in Turkey over the last seven years. We saw the consequences of that revolution in last week's elections which resulted in indisputable victory for Erdogan.

Bhai - this is what you posted. Can I just ask about the use of commas in your first sentence? It strikes me that there's one too many. Or am I reading it wrong?

I'm also wondering if the colon after the word "goals" shouldn't be a comma.
​

You are right about the commas in the first sentence, I've corrected it, but after "goals" I'm not sure, I thought it might be better to put a full stop and start a new sentence with "A major revolution..." What do you think?

 

[emsr2d2]

You are right about the commas in the first sentence, I've corrected it, but after "goals" I'm not sure, I thought it might be better to put a full stop and start a new sentence with "A major revolution..." What do you think?

Is the part with "a major revolution" not a continuation of the sentence "While the Arab world has been washed ..."? If so, surely if you discount all the rest of the comments in between it would be "While the Arab world has been washed in a wave of revolutions, a major revolution has taken place in Turkey".

Does putting a full stop after goals not mean that the sentence starting "While..." is unfinished?

 

[bhaisahab]

Is the part with "a major revolution" not a continuation of the sentence "While the Arab world has been washed ..."? If so, surely if you discount all the rest of the comments in between it would be "While the Arab world has been washed in a wave of revolutions, a major revolution has taken place in Turkey".

Does putting a full stop after goals not mean that the sentence starting "While..." is unfinished?

Yes, you are right. Time to stop for this evening I think.

 

[emsr2d2]

Yes, you are right. Time to stop for this evening I think.

Let's face it, we all reach that point. I should have stopped earlier when I totally failed to explain my point about the possessive.

Time for sleep all round!

 

[bhaisahab]

Let's face it, we all reach that point. I should have stopped earlier when I totally failed to explain my point about the possessive.

Time for sleep all round!

You are very kind. I am taking some medication for a "frozen shoulder" (capsulitis) at the moment and it seems to affect my concentration.:-?