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  1. AlexAD's Avatar
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    #1

    Please, proofread a tiny text

    Hello, there.

    Is the following is good English? Has it got any mistakes?

    'As I cannot see any position in IT this time that both would suit me and might be considered as one that is worth striving for, I would say that I aim for mental perfection.'

    Thanks, Alex.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please, proofread a tiny text

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexAD View Post
    Hello, there.

    Is the following is good English? Has it got any mistakes?

    'As I cannot see any position in IT this time that both would suit me and might be considered as one that is worth striving for, I would say that I aim for mental perfection.'

    Thanks, Alex.
    Grammatically (spelling, punctuation etc) it's fine. It doesn't make any sense though.

  3. Offroad's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Please, proofread a tiny text

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexAD View Post
    Hello, there.

    Is the following is good English? Has it got any mistakes?

    'As I cannot see any position in IT this time that both would suit me and might be considered as one that is worth striving for, I would say that I aim for mental perfection.'

    Thanks, Alex.
    Question: What does 'both' refer to?

  4. AlexAD's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Please, proofread a tiny text

    What do you mean that doesn't make any sence? Are you trying to say that it is nonsense? I am being really upset when I see such statetments...

    Both refers to would suit me and might be considered as...

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please, proofread a tiny text

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexAD View Post
    What do you mean that doesn't make any sence? Are you trying to say that it is nonsense? I am being really upset when I see such statetments...

    Both refers to would suit me and might be considered as...
    I didn't say it was nonsense. However, your statement seems to be suggesting that the fact that you can't currently see a suitable IT position is evidence that you strive for mental perfection. I can't see any link between the two things.

  6. AlexAD's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Please, proofread a tiny text

    Quote Originally Posted by Gillnetter View Post
    'As I cannot see any position in IT this time that both would suit me and might be considered as one that is worth striving for, I would say that I aim for mental perfection.'

    As I cannot see any position in IT at this time that both would suit me and might be considered as one that is worth striving for, I would say the fishing in Washington is great.
    For the first thing, if you don't see any reasonable connection with the first part, doesn't that mean that it is you, at the first place, who don't see any connection? Interesting situation we are dealing with here. At one hand the context is usually requested. At the other hand you have made your statement without referring to any context provided by me. Isn't that a little bit unfair?

    For the second one, if I had written the second part like you, that would be nonsense, to me.
    However what I wrote is not. If I were you I would rather say it was weird. Or why don't say that in a more polite way like
    'I cannot see any sense in this sentence?'

    Because... some time ago I posted a funny story that I translated into English by myself. The first comments I saw were like yours. Others wrote they can't understand that and, to me, it was perfectly polite. And then there appeared a native who got the joke and found it very funny. Can you comment on that? Doesn't that prove my point?

    It is not that I am not grateful to your critical replies, but could you be more accurate when posting such answers.
    I hope you would understand what I were trying to say.

    Thanks, Alex.
    Last edited by AlexAD; 11-Jul-2011 at 07:41.

  7. AlexAD's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Please, proofread a tiny text

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    ... I can't see any link between the two things.
    I wouldn't be offended at all if you had replied like this. Thanks, for your understanding

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