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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Sep 2004
    • Posts: 596
    #1

    is this text ok?

    Hi, I'd like a native speaker's opinion about my text. Can you correct it and give me suggestions if you don't like the style, please?It would be great for me.
    Thanks.
    Ripley.

    Ciccio Bello, born in Massa (Italy) in 1986, graduated in piano at the Istituto Musicale "P. Mascagni", Livorno.
    He also got a Jazz degree under the tutelage of Prof. Grossi.
    He co-founded the band "I Pupi", playing the keyboards and composing almost all of the band's repertoire.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
    #2

    Re: is this text ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by ripley View Post
    Hi, I'd like a native speaker's opinion about my text. Can you correct it and give me suggestions if you don't like the style, please?It would be great for me.
    Thanks.
    Ripley.

    Ciccio Bello, born in Massa (Italy) in 1986, graduated in piano at the Istituto Musicale "P. Mascagni", Livorno.
    He also got a Jazz degree under the tutelage of Prof. Grossi.
    He co-founded the band "I Pupi", playing the keyboards and composing almost all of the band's repertoire.
    Looks OK to me. I would only suggest that maybe it should be "graduated with a degree/certificate in piano study".

  1. Raymott's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 24,103
    #3

    Re: is this text ok?

    " ... graduated in piano studies ..." would sound OK.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Sep 2004
    • Posts: 596
    #4

    Re: is this text ok?

    Thanks

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