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    #1

    Refugees in Turkey

    Please, check if the following sentence is grammatically correct. Thanks!

    Turkish soldiers tried to prevent any contacts between the Syrian refugees and the local population, of which part is Arabic-speaking, out of fear that Muslim Turks might turn their ire against the Alawite minority in Turkey as a revenge for their Alawite brothers in faith's cruelties in Syria.

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Refugees in Turkey

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Please, check if the following sentence is grammatically correct. Thanks!

    Turkish soldiers tried to prevent any contacts between the Syrian refugees and the local population, of which part is Arabic-speaking, out of fear that Muslim Turks might turn their ire against the Alawite minority in Turkey as a revenge for their Alawite brothers in faith's cruelties in Syria.
    Yes, it's grammatical, but the length of your sentences makes them awkward (from what I've read so far).

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    #3

    Re: Refugees in Turkey

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    Yes, it's grammatical, but the length of your sentences makes them awkward (from what I've read so far).
    I'll try to divide the sentence:


    Turkish soldiers tried to prevent any contacts between the Syrian refugees and the local population, of which part is Arabic-speaking. The Turkish government's fear is that Muslim Turks might turn their ire against the Alawite minority in Turkey as a revenge for their Alawite brothers in faith's cruelties in Syria.

    Is this better?

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Refugees in Turkey

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    I'll try to divide the sentence:


    Turkish soldiers tried to prevent any contacts between the Syrian refugees and the local population, of which part is Arabic-speaking. The Turkish government's fear is that Muslim Turks might turn their ire against the Alawite minority in Turkey as a revenge for their Alawite brothers in faith's cruelties in Syria.

    Is this better?
    Yes it is. It depends on how you are going to use the information, though. If it was for a newspaper, or internet news site, I'd write very short sentences. You'd rarely find all that information in one sentence in the average English-language news story. For a scholarly book, longer sentences are more appropriate.

    I've thought of a few more points:
    I think "... part of which is Arabic-speaking." is better than " ... of which part is Arabic-speaking."
    Do you mean "brothers-in-faith's"? That's awkward. How about, "... as revenge for the cruelties in Syria by their Alawite brothers-in-faith."

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    #5

    Re: Refugees in Turkey

    I would also say "... tried to prevent any contact... " (not contacts).

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