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  1. rainous's Avatar
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    #1

    HELP~ listing names

    Can anyone please help me rewrite the sentence below?
    I don't know what the rule is when listing a series of names in sentences like the one below.

    "The group consists of me, Kevin Holes, as a grouper leader, and Susan, my wife, Hanna, my daughter and Harry, my son."

    Thank you!!

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: HELP~ listing names

    Quote Originally Posted by rainous View Post
    Can anyone please help me rewrite the sentence below?
    I don't know what the rule is when listing a series of names in sentences like the one below.

    "The group consists of me, Kevin Holes, as a grouper leader, and Susan, my wife, Hanna, my daughter and Harry, my son."

    Thank you!!
    That's a lot of commas! Personally, with a list this long, I would either use brackets:

    The group consists of me (Kevin Holes, group leader), Susan (my wife), Hanna (my daughter) and Harry (my son).

    or I would change the word order:

    The group consists of me, Kevin Holes, as group leader, my wife Susan, my daughter Hanna and my son Harry.

    Note that it's "group leader" not "a grouper leader". I assume that there are 4 people in the group, not five? It's a little ambiguous as it's not clear if you are Kevin Holes, the group leader or if the group consists of:
    1) Me
    2) Kevin
    3) Susan
    4) Hanna
    5) Harry

    It can be read both ways.

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