Suggestions are for grammar / structure only. No comment with regard to your position / premise on several statements on the subject.I'm learning to write a good essay.
Could you please correct and give me some suggestions about my writing
thanks in advance!
Topic: It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapid changing ideas in the modern workplaces and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent, do you support or reject this idea.
As we know
n(Do we?) , theyouth are the future of thecountries. For instance, a country which havethat has many young talented people will definitely become stronger than other countries. However, many people think that youthful people don't have enough experience sto work efficiently. ToFrom my perspective, we should put young people in a high position because of thesethe following reasons
First of all,
theyouth are more dynamic than elderly people. We are living in a competitive world where thecreation plays an indepensable role on our life (???). It is undeniable that experience is an important factor which leads to the success of a company. Nevertheless, if you are a smart director, you should choose young people who are likely to have more creative ideals in order to adapt to the competitive world.
Secondly, working is the quickest solution to gain experience. Despite the fact that young people are very dynamic, the only one weak point is that they
arelack ofexperience. Almost all students who have just graduated from university don't have much chance sto work in thereal life which prevents them from becoming becoming aprofessional staff. Therefore, in order to make them become a professor, the best solution is to give them opportunities to work in thereal life.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that elderly people are more professional than young people. However, with
theenthusiasm and creation, youthful people should have more chance sto show off themselves. By doing that, the company and even the country will become stronger and stronger.
Student or Learner