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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Aug 2006
    • Posts: 769
    #1

    Does this cover letter sound good?

    Does this cover letter sound good to a native English ear?

    Dear Sirs,
    I have seen your advertisement in Today's Sunday Times for the post of an expert in Import and Export field and I would like to apply for it.
    I am a 27 year old boy. I have just graduated from Messina University in Foreign Languages. I can speak English and German fluently. I do not have any experience in import and export but I have had some teaching experiences, which have given me the opportunity to enhance my personal skills as a communicator and to run classes of 15-20 people. I am applying for this job because I think to be quite good at communicating with people and interacting with them.
    I am attaching my CV and a picture. I hope you will take my application into account and to have the opportunity of an interview. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you in advance.

    Yours Faithfully

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 12,312
    #2

    Re: Does this cover letter sound good?

    I am applying for this job because I think to be quite good at communicating with people and interacting with them.
    "I think to be" is not correct. Say"...because I am quite good..."

    I hope you will take my application into account and to have the opportunity of an interview.
    This sentence is not good. You attempt to join with the "and" two things you are hoping for. But when you do that, you must join like things. This would be better to say that you hope they will take your application under consideration. Then include the offer to be available for an interview in your next sentence.

    I would not thank people in advance in this type of situation. It can seem presumptuous.

    Finally, if you are 27 years old, you are not a "boy."

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Feb 2007
    • Posts: 177
    #3

    Re: Does this cover letter sound good?

    I am not a native English ear, but I will try to give you my two pence worth anyway.

    Firstly, disregarding any style, grammar or spelling mistakes, if I were to receive this letter it would go straight into the bin for this simple reason: According to your letter the company wants somebody with expert knowledge in import and export and you state that you have no experience whatsoever in this field. From the company's point of view you are of no interest to them, and my advice would be don't bother applying. You are just wasting everybody's time and the money for a stamp. It would be different if they were looking for a trainee with foreign language skills to join their import/export department. In this case you might be the right candidate.


    Now to your letter in detail:


    As SoothingDave wrote at 27 years old you are no longer a boy (or would you write in Italian "I am a 27 year old Bambino"?). I think you just wanted to clarify your gender. Neither your age nor your gender (male, female) should be mentioned in the covering letter. If your age needs to be mentioned at all then this information should go onto your CV. If it is not obvious from your name whether you are male or female you could write "Mr Sam Calzone" on the top of your CV.


    If possible try to find out the name of the person you are sending your application to and address your letter accordingly.


    I would have started the letter as follows:


    Dear Sir or Madam


    I am applying for the position as (whatever they call it in the advert) in your import and export department as advertised in today's Sunday Times.


    Now comes the most important part of the letter. You now have to sell yourself. In a few sentences you have to convince the reader of your letter that you are the right person for the job. They must want to invite you for an interview. Mention your language skills, tell them about your fluency in three European languages, and explain how your communication skills could make a positve contribution to the company's success. State why you want to work in import/export, but don't point out your lack of experience (they will find out soon enough).


    You could end the letter as follows:


    Please find attached (for email; write 'enclosed' when you send a letter by mail) my CV and photo (quite often this is no longer wanted or required). I would be delighted to discuss my application further in a personal interview.


    Yours faithfully



    The above are just some suggestions. Feel free to rewrite your letter again and to post it here for somebody to have another look.


    TomUK

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Jul 2010
    • Posts: 5,098
    #4

    Re: Does this cover letter sound good?

    I wholeheartedly agree with the first paragraph of Tom's post and respectfully disagree with some of his further points.

    They want an expert and you are not one. They will not want to interview you. If you don't mention your lack of expertise, they will certainly notice that you haven't mentioned your expertise either. Without qualifications, you won't be hired. There seems to be completely no point in sending this letter.

    This is not language advice and I hesitated before writing this, but this letter bothers me too much. I apologize if I my post seems inappropriate.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2011
    • Posts: 248
    #5

    Re: Does this cover letter sound good?

    I'm sorry but I am not try to attack here but you say you speak English fluently but you do not. What I would suggest is that you say "I am conversationally fluent" -- there is a key difference between this level of fluency and being "fluent."

    Not a teacher -- AmE native

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