- Joined
- Oct 14, 2010
- Member Type
- English Teacher
- Native Language
- British English
- Home Country
- Czech Republic
- Current Location
- Czech Republic
People from some cultures occasionally address fellow members of this forum as 'dear'. I have no doubt that this is intended as a friendly mode of address, certainly meant positively, and I am sure that nobody takes offence, but it is not appropriate.
In BrE, '(my) dear/dears' is a term of endearment used most commonly by adults to young children; it is also used by some (usually older) people to their spouses. When used by older adults to younger colleagues it is now considered patronising, especially if the user is male and the person addressed female. You will still hear it used between friends, especially females, and by shop assistants in small shops to customers of both sexes, though many bigger stores discourage the use of such endearments.
When I re-read what I have just written, I felt that I had come across as a stuffy old f**t, but I think that people who use the word should be aware that it is better not used.
In BrE, '(my) dear/dears' is a term of endearment used most commonly by adults to young children; it is also used by some (usually older) people to their spouses. When used by older adults to younger colleagues it is now considered patronising, especially if the user is male and the person addressed female. You will still hear it used between friends, especially females, and by shop assistants in small shops to customers of both sexes, though many bigger stores discourage the use of such endearments.
When I re-read what I have just written, I felt that I had come across as a stuffy old f**t, but I think that people who use the word should be aware that it is better not used.