Wow- that's rather a lot- probably why no one has responded earlier! You don't make clear whether you're looking only for correction of grammatical errors or general usage but, since you asked for opinions, I'll throw in some comments on US English usage as well.
The boy was permitted to sit up a few hours, but he never used the privilege profitably. Okay, but one would more commonly hear 'The boy was allowed to stay up...
Who permitted your leaving early? Again, okay, but more commonly 'Who gave you permission to leave early?'
The doctor will not permit mother up until she is better. In the US, you would more often hear this as 'The doctor doesn't want mother to get up until she is better.
A five-year operating permit application will be filed at the municipality. The structure here is correct, but municipality is not really a place, so the application would be either:
A. filed with the municipality (the place is unimportant or understood) OR
B. filed at the municipality office (the actual place you did the filing)
We must to file also a construction permit application. We must also
tofile alsoa construction permit application.
A clutch permits the disengagement of the coupled shafts during operation. good
As far as I know (add comma here. Otherwise, it can read as if you only do the 'knowing' at high intensity!) at high intensity the electric field of a laser may permit field ionization to compete with the multiphoton ionization process.
The address of a storage location permits repeated reference to the same cell. Rather a fine point, but I think allows would be better here. Permission means only that- a granting of access. The address makes it convenient, but has nothing to do with permission to access the stored items. I would further recommend replacing reference with access for roughly the same reason- access is more 'physical' than reference.
Finally she came into possession of a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Fine
He went about his daily business as far as health permits. went = past tense. permits = present tense. Need to change one so they agree.
There are matters that permit of no delay. Recommend you delete of.
He has a permit for multiple crossings of the State Border. Fine
A wide range of gasses and solids permit light to pass through in varying degrees. range > will permit
Upon arrival in Sittwe, if time permits, take refreshment at a local restaurant and then transfer to Sittwe domestic airport for the flight back to Yangon
Student or Learner