[Essay] please point out errors for me !

[mrajoshi]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


I agree with the statement that grades encourage students to learn.Education is very important nowadays. Everyone has to work hard to achieve their dream.And grade system helps to organize student with their capability.But it has adverse effect also .

Nowadays competition is everywhere ,One has to work hard to live successful life. To know how successful you are in study, school offers a grade system where if the person obtain higher grades in exam than he/she will be recognize as more successful and intelligent .Only higher grades students gets admission in reputed schools.Now in order to get admission in good school students study hard. One of my friend is very good in study.He always gets good marks in exam but last year he missed an opportunity and got lower grades in exam so he could not enroll himself in good university.But he was so determined that he gave the exam again and achieved good marks and got admission in his favorite school. Thus if you fail to obtain good marks in exam you will loose the chance to reach at your dreams. This way grades encourage students for study.

Few people do get frustrated and depress when they are not able to achieve their desire grades in exams.At that time some students take catastrophic steps which is not good for them and their family.And some students take this failure in a positive way and try to persist good grades despite of all this failure.For instance , To clear the TOEFL , we have to pass the exam with certain marks , if we fall below line than we will not able to get admission in desire school. So to get admission in desire school we have to study more .

In conclusion , Education is must nowadays and people are so determined .So to distribute them without seeing result is little tough .At that time grade system really helps.And so to stay in this competitive era everyone has to concentrate more on study.The better they gets in exam ,life will be that better and easy.So that's how grades encourage students to learn .

 

[Josiah7]

I agree with the statement that grades encourage students to learn.Education is very important nowadays. Everyone has to work hard to achieve their dream, and grade system helps to organize student with their capabilities; however, grade system may also cause unwanted effects.

Nowadays, competition exists everywhere. One has to work hard to live a successful life. To know how successful you are in your studies, schools offers a grade system whereby if the person obtains higher grades in exam then he/she will be recognized as more successful and intelligent .Only higher grades students get admissions in reputableschools.Now in order to get admission in a good school, students must study hard. One of my friends is very good in studying.He always gets good marks in exam, but last year, he missed an opportunity and got lower grades in an exam. Consequently, he could not enroll in a good university. However, he was so determined that he took the exam again and achieved good marks and got admission in his favorite school. Thus if you fail to obtain good marks in exam you will lose the chance to reach your dreams. In this way grades encourage students to study.

Few people do get frustrated and depressed when they are not able to achieve their desire grades in exams.At that time, some studentstend to take catastrophic steps which is not good for them and their family.On the other hand, some students take this failure in a positive way and try to persist in getting good grades despite all the failure.For instance , To clear the TOEFL , we have to pass the exam with certain marks , if we fall below line than we will not able to get admission in desire school. So to get admission in desire school we have to study more . (example of run-on and wrong transitive words usage)

In conclusion , Education is must nowadays and people are so determined .(very unclear) So to distribute them without seeing result is little tough (again wrong usage of transitive words). At that time grade system really helps.And so to stay in this competitive era everyone has to concentrate more on study.The better they gets in exam ,life will be that better and easy.So that's how grades encourage students to learn . (wrong usage of transitive)

hi there, after pointing out many of your mistakes on the 1st few paragraphs, I can't help but noticed several areas in your english skills that you can improve on.
1. you tend to create subject-verb agreement mistakes. singular nouns must have verbs with (-s) while plural nouns must have verbs without (-s)
2. you tend to use wrong transitive words. using "and, but, so" to start a sentence is poor grammar, but you can use other words such as "however, consequently, on the other hand" instead.
3. your sentences tend to "run-on". sentences that are run-on should be separated instead of forced into a single sentence.

i'm sure your english skills would improve greatly once you take note of these 3 areas.

 

[Raymott]

You also need to space your punctuation properly. Freestyle spacing is not a feature of English.