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  1. rainous's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
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      • Armenia
      • Current Location:
      • Antilles

    • Join Date: Jun 2011
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    #1

    visions and goals but no rules

    Could anyone tell me how these sentences look in the eyes of natives?
    and suggest any alternatives for the parts that look awkward?

    1. "If an organization has only standards like visions and goals but no rules, it will scatter like goods that are unpackaged or not strapped, while having only rules without standards can cause it to lose direction and wander. "

    2. It is the role as well as the right and responsiblity of leaders to set forth the values that are not visible.


    Any suggestions will be much appreciated. Thank you.
    Last edited by rainous; 29-Aug-2011 at 02:18.

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    #2

    Re: visions and goals but no rules

    1. "If an organization has only standards like visions and goals but no rules, it will scatter like goods that are unpackaged or not strapped, while having only rules without standards can cause it to lose direction and wander."

    I think the problem here is with the analogy used. A better construction would employ a different one:

    "If an organization has only standards like visions and goals but no rules, it will be like a driver who knows where he wants to go but without a roadmap he doesn't know how to get there. An organization having only rules without standards is like the same driver posessing a roadmap but no idea where he wants to go.



    2. It is the role as well as the right and responsiblity of leaders to set forth the values that are not visible.

    First, values can never be visible, so you need to rework that part.
    Second, right + responsibility = role in this case. Either delete the word role or the words right and responsibility, depending on your intent.

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