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    • Join Date: Oct 2005
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    #1

    Can you please correct the following sentence

    "I find Gastroenterology appealing, as it allows for complete and thorough patient care, as well as ample opportunities for research."

    Please help me! Can you please correct the following sentence and make it sound better?

  1. SweetMommaSue's Avatar
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    #2

    Question Re: Can you please correct the following sentence

    Hello Drmythri,

    Welcome to the forums!

    Could you give us a little more information, please? Where are you going to use this sentence? Are you writing an essay, applying for a job or designing a brochure? If we could have a little more background as to what you are hoping to do with it, it will be easier to help you.

    Smiles,
    SMS


    • Join Date: Jul 2005
    • Posts: 265
    #3

    Re: Can you please correct the following sentence

    "I find Gastroenterology appealing, as it allows for complete and thorough patient care, as well as ample opportunities for research."
    "I find Gastroenterology appealing because it allows for complete and thorough patient care and at the same time, provides ample opportunities for research."


    • Join Date: Oct 2005
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    #4

    Re: Can you please correct the following sentence

    Temico, thanks for the input. SMS, yes I plan to use this for a job interview/statement purpose.

  2. SweetMommaSue's Avatar
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    #5

    Red face Re: Can you please correct the following sentence

    I really like what Temico wrote! I hope you used "his" sentence. Sorry I didn't help much here.

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    #6

    Re: Can you please correct the following sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by drmythri
    "I find Gastroenterology appealing, as it allows for complete and thorough patient care, as well as ample opportunities for research."

    Please help me! Can you please correct the following sentence and make it sound better?

    I am of the opinion that the above sentence is wrongly punctuated.
    It is a complex sentence with one main clause and two subordinate clauses which need not necessarilly be separated by commas.
    "I find Gastroenterology appealing"...MAIN CLAUSE
    "(BECAUSE)it allows for complete and thorough patient-care...subordinate cause (1)
    "(also because) it (provides) ample opportunities for research"...sub(2)
    Therefore,if I may rephrase the sentence,I'd prefer something in this neighbourhood.....
    "I find Gastroenterology appealing because it allows for complete and thorough patient-care and also provides ample opportunities for research"

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