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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Sep 2011
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Help with my essay

    I would really appreciate if someone could go over my essay and point out anything that does not look right or if there could be any improvements. I am constantly trying to improve my vocabulary so could use some pointers for that also!! Thanks so much


    Most high school students of today have a part-time job. There seem to be mixed opinions on whether these adolescents should focus solely on their studies or perhaps begin to earn money. Personally, I do not see a problem with them working early in life as long as they enjoy their job and that it does not interfere with their academic success. I began working at the age of eleven and can say that it was extremely beneficial for me. In the following essay I will explain, with the help of various examples, how my first job taught me responsibility.
    My first job was at an equestrian camp for children of ages five to ten. My tasks consisted of caring for the horses and entertaining the children with various games and outdoor activities. I very much enjoyed working there and always felt accomplished at the end of the day. I must admit that it was rather physically and mentally strenuous work and I was often too tired to participate in any evening activities with my friends. There was no such thing as sleeping in past seven in the morning but on the other hand I was paid to play with children and care for my favourite animals.
    That same year, my mother decided I was ready to own my first horse. She still consistently argues that buying Jazz was the best thing she could ever have done for me. Caring for their own horse is a proven and effective way of teaching children to care for another living being. Horses depend very much on their owners to be fed, watered, groomed and exercised in order to stay healthy and happy. In order to have fun and ride Jazz, I needed to clean up after him, groom him, feed him and exercise him first. I learned very quickly that owning a horse is not only about riding and began enjoying all of the other tasks as well. Also, horses can get sick very quickly and the cost of having a veterinarian come to the stables is very high. For that reason, horse owners must save money for emergencies which meant I had to begin putting my salary aside. Since Jazz was very rarely sick, my emergency horse fund later became my college fund which has helped me a lot through my post-secondary studies.
    The first year of university is a huge leap for most students, but in my case, the transition was very smooth. Through high school, I was always very busy due to my equestrian hobby, many extra-curricular activities, a part time job and advanced courses. I also managed to fit volunteering at the local veterinary clinic into that busy schedule. I was a very responsible student and already knew how every second of my time to good use. I very much enjoyed the fast pace of my first year of undergraduate studies and am enjoying the experience for a second time as a transfer student.
    Therefore, is it really beneficial for high school students to have a part time job? In my particular case, it definitely was without a doubt extremely helpful. It helped me become to become a confident and responsible young adult, which in turn will help me pursue my career goal. I learned at a very young age to save my money and also that every second of the day is valuable and should not be wasted.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Sep 2011
    • Posts: 2
    #2

    Re: Help with my essay

    Just want to clarify that the initial question is ''what has working taught me''

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