Results 1 to 1 of 1
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Sep 2011
    • Posts: 1

    Exclamation Please Help Revising my Essay

    So I am a Senior in High school and applying for UCF in Florida. I really want to go there and want my essay to be almost to perfect. I am actually hoping that one of my essays will be the thing that will help me get accepted. Without further a due....
    Please judge harshly

    My life Obstacle
    Throughout my elementary and middle school years there haven’t been many academic or personal life obstacles. This all changed my high school years. Many things have changed. The thing that had the biggest impact on me, and on my life, is that my Dad passed away my sophomore year. It was very hard on me. I just couldn’t think how the future would be without him. No second hand guidance. No person to teach me to change the oil in the car. At the time, things did not look good for me. My grades weren’t as good as I usually should have. School was the last thing on my mind. Finally, I started to think if I kept going and behaving the way I was, there also wouldn’t be a good future in store for me. I thought hard to not to give up on my school work and that there’s still a chance. Instead of changing for the worse, I changed for the best. I know my Dad would not be proud if he saw me give up on my school work so easily. Many changes took place after realizing this. The way I learned changed; even the way I look at life changed. Now a couple years later I feel as though I am doing a lot better in school and even taking Honor classes. I learned to challenge myself into things that other people would give up in. I look at the past and all I see is a kid taking measly high school courses barely getting by and not trying to his full potential. I look at the present and see a young responsible adult taking challenging courses in High School. I look at the future and see an adult, managing a 5 star restaurant chain. I understand in life there will be many obstacles to overcome, but this one is probably the most important one that will happen.
    Last edited by Smashnguns; 25-Sep-2011 at 20:00.

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] Help with editing revising - essay
    By roberta langs in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-Nov-2010, 18:28
    By sandy4 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Apr-2010, 07:02
    By sandy4 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Apr-2010, 06:57
  4. [Essay] I need help with revising my essay !!!
    By lb2009 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-Nov-2009, 09:24
  5. [Essay] I need help revising my essay
    By miriam3 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-Nov-2008, 15:00


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts