Results 1 to 6 of 6
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 307
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    The crucial moment

    Please, check if the following passage is grammatically correct. Thanks!


    The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech, with honorably climbing down and withdrawing his uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck and thus, preserve his leadership, or will he deliver such a disastrous speech that will lead to the end of his leadership and perhaps, temporarily to the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence beginning with riots up to terrorism, the same as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, for the better or the worst, in his speech today.

  1. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,135
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: The crucial moment

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post

    The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech, with honorably climbing down and withdrawing his uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck and thus, preserve his leadership, or will he deliver such a disastrous speech that will lead to the end of his leadership and perhaps, temporarily to the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence beginning with riots up to terrorism, the same as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, for the better or the worst, in his speech today.
    It's rambling, messy, and the underlined wordsand punctuation marks are not the finest English I have seen. However, it is no worse than a lot of the stuff we see in newspapers or hear on the radio and television these days.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 307
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: The crucial moment

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    It's rambling, messy, and the underlined wordsand punctuation marks are not the finest English I have seen. However, it is no worse than a lot of the stuff we see in newspapers or hear on the radio and television these days.
    I hope this version will be more to your taste

    The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech and will be wise enough to honorably climb down and withdraw his uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck, and thus preserve his leadership, or will he deliver such a disastrous speech that will pave the way for the end of his leadership and perhaps, temporarily – for the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence – beginning with riots which might, in turn, develop into terrorism in the same pattern as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, whatever the consequences, in his speech today.

  2. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,135
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: The crucial moment

    Oops - I hadn't realised that you had written it, or I would have been a litle more tactful in my criticism. I assumed that you had taken it from a newspaper.
    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    I hope this version will be more to your taste

    The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech, and will be wise enough to honorably climb down honorably and withdraw his the uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck, and thus preserve his leadership,. or w Will he, on the other hand, deliver such a disastrous speech that it will pave the way for the end of his leadership and (perhaps temporarily) for the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence beginning with riots which might, in turn, develop into terrorism in the same pattern as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people, and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, whatever the consequences, in his speech today.
    I don't like the word 'positions'. What do you mean by it exactly?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 307
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #5

    Re: The crucial moment

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    Oops - I hadn't realised that you had written it, or I would have been a litle more tactful in my criticism. I assumed that you had taken it from a newspaper.I don't like the word 'positions'. What do you mean by it exactly?
    Opinions, stances.

  3. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,135
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #6

    Re: The crucial moment

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Opinions, stances.
    It's probably OK then, though I don't like it personallly.
    Last edited by 5jj; 28-Sep-2011 at 16:43. Reason: typo

Similar Threads

  1. crucial
    By peter123 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 20-Apr-2009, 04:54
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Jul-2008, 13:51
  3. vanish,slip and crucial
    By jiang in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-Mar-2007, 01:27
  4. crucial
    By hana in forum General Language Discussions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 21-May-2005, 08:51
  5. At the present moment and at the moment
    By bmo in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-Aug-2004, 20:34

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •