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    #1

    Please correct this

    I want to inform my manager that one employee who went on annual leave did not come back- please see below.

    This is to inform you that MR..... who went on annual lave starting from 06/09/2011 suppose to resume duty on 06/10/2011. But so far he neither reported duty nor sent any message about his delay. Therefore, kindly do the needful to terminate his employment with our company.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please correct this

    Quote Originally Posted by TheParser View Post
    NOT A TEACHER


    (1) I know that official business letters (especially in many countries) use a certain kind of official language.

    (a) Nevertheless, I believe that the words "This is to inform you that ...." are really rather "old-fashioned." And a waste of words and space.

    (b) I also respectfully suggest that writing dates with numbers (06/09/11) is not very atttractive. And not very official looking, either.

    (c) I am NOT saying that my note is better than yours, but I offer it in case it gives you any ideas for slightly changing your note to the manager.

    Mr. John Doe was on annual leave from September 6, 20ll, through October

    6, 20ll. He has failed to report back to duty or to notify us of his absence.

    I recommend that proceedings be started to terminate his employment.
    I agree that some words seem like a waste of space but I would respectfully suggest that if you are asking for someone's employment to be terminated, it's best to be as formal and as professional as possible.

    I would also say that "September 6th 2011 through October 6th 2011" suggests that October 6th was meant to be the last day of his annual leave. However, the original says that he was actually due to resume work on October 6th, making October 5th the last day of his annual leave.

    I would say:

    "Please be advised that Mr John Doe commenced annual leave on September 6 2011. He was scheduled to return to work on October 6 2011. He failed to do so, nor has he made any contact with the office/company [this will depend on the setup of your company].

    Please commence proceedings to terminate his employment with immediate effect."

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    #3

    Re: Please correct this

    Quote Originally Posted by francycham View Post
    I want to inform my manager that one employee who went on annual leave did not come back- please see below.

    This is to inform you that MR..... who went on annual leave starting from beginning 06/09/2011 suppose to resume duty on and scheduled to return 06/10/2011,. But so far he has neither reported for duty nor sent any message about his delay abscence. Therefore, kindly do the needful please make arrangements to terminate his employment with our company and advise effective date.
    Suggestions.
    Last edited by billmcd; 16-Oct-2011 at 15:37. Reason: typo

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