Hello, I am new to this website. I was wondering if someone would please review my essay. It is a college application essay. I recognize that I am not the best writer in fact I am quite bad but I am working with my English teacher to improve I usually have her review my essays, but it is due tomorrow and I will not see her before then.
Thanks in advance!
P.S. I am sorry if there is a specific thread for this type of topic. I looked but could not find one.
Prose:Please describe one important activity outside of class during your high school years that has been an important experience for you, particularly one in which you have played a leadership role. Explain how this activity has helped in your own growth and intellectual or personal development. Maximum length: 600 words.When I first kicked a soccer ball this past summer I fell in love with the sport. After a summer of playing some of my friends, that played on the team, told me I should go out for the team. I knew I would not get much respect from the rest of the team outside of my group of friends because I would be a walk on senior. As I thought my decision over I decided that I have nothing to lose, it is my senior year. When I woke up at 5:30 the morning of the first practice I was as nervous as a bird in a hurricane but the weather felt great and the moment I touched the ball my worries went away. I began to enjoy myself and the nervous butterflies in my stomach flew away.
Even though I never held a leadership position or was all that important to the team, soccer helped me grow more than anything else I did my senior year. Soccer taught me how to step out of my comfort zone. I now realize because of soccer that if you do not take risk and step out of your bubble you can not grow. Sure, it is possible and likely that it will not go as you planned, you could even embarrass yourself I know I did at times, but you just have to shake it off and go try again. Most people never step out of their comfort zone in high school which hurts them because they do not know how to in college when college is arguably one of the most important places a person should. This is because there is so much more to college than high school and if a person does not take chances they will miss out on incredible experiences or organizations that could shape who they are.
I had a blast playing soccer for the one season I did and I regret that I did not start playing earlier in life. Soccer helped me learn a valuable lesson that I do not want to soon forget and that I will apply to college to make to the most out of it.
Student or Learner