Results 1 to 5 of 5
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2011
    • Posts: 74
    #1

    Grammar check

    k
    Last edited by oxford2011; 28-Nov-2011 at 17:47.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2011
    • Posts: 74
    #2

    Re: Grammar check

    k
    Last edited by oxford2011; 28-Nov-2011 at 17:47.

  1. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,551
    #3

    Re: Grammar check

    What are you trying to prevent? (Skin damage?) I suggest that you simplify that sentence,and make it clearer.


  2. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,221
    #4

    Re: Grammar check

    Quote Originally Posted by oxford2011 View Post
    Thank u very much I am sending you the full text.
    Besides concurring environmental and social changes, behavioral modification is of paramount significance in prevention by adopting improved sun protection strategies. Some of these strategies are use of shade or limiting the direct exposure to sun in the middle of the day when UVR is at its peak (between 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM), wearing sunglasses, covering skin with hat, cloths, and sunscreens with a sun protection factor (SPF) of at least 15 or greater (primary prevention).
    This is how I'd write this:
    To prevent sun damage, we need to change behaviors. Limit exposure to the sun between 10 am and 3 pm, when ultra-violet radiation is at its peak. Stay in the shade, cover your skin, wear wide-brimmed hats and sunglasses, and use a sunscreen with a minimum SPF of 15.

    I've been told I'm rather direct, but I do think this version gets to the point a bit more quickly.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,134
    #5

    Re: Grammar check

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    I've been told I'm rather direct, but I do think this version gets to the point a bit more quickly.
    At least with 'direct' I understand the message rather more easily.

Similar Threads

  1. please check for the grammar
    By new2grammar in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-Jan-2012, 06:40
  2. Grammar check
    By oxford2011 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 17-Oct-2011, 18:04
  3. [Grammar] Hello, Can someone check my grammar please
    By pjrzn in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 28-May-2011, 03:59
  4. [Grammar] Grammar Check
    By Knowwat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 30-Jun-2009, 12:40
  5. please check for grammar
    By new2grammar in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 22-Dec-2008, 16:06

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •