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  1. HaraKiriBlade's Avatar
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Korean
      • Home Country:
      • South Korea
      • Current Location:
      • South Korea

    • Join Date: Apr 2005
    • Posts: 449

    [Proofread] Presentation at school 1/5

    I'm going to divide it into five, as it's rather long to post it in one thread.

    I'm going to talk about child obesity and how the premier's recent program to fight against it isn't very effective.

    Obesity has become so widespread of an issue amoung us that people cointed the term 'obesity epidemic'.

    The fact that child obesity is on the increase doesn't help the situation, either. In an effort to fight the epidemic Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty revealed his version of the solution, among which the biggest thing is mandatory 20-minute phys ed in elementary school curriculum.

    With all due respect to his good intention, it's just not going to work, he's not getting at the real sources of the epidemic.
    Thank you! more coming up...

  2. Editor,
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 60,639

    Re: [Proofread] Presentation at school 1/5

    fight against - I think deleting the preposition would be fine
    widespread of - delete 'of'
    amoung - typo

    mandatory - I'd say a mandatory

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