[Essay] Please check my motivation letter for master application

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Zoe1981

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Hi, I am applying for a master program. But I am not sure about the essay, please someone check my morivation letter and express the opinions. Your feedback is highly appreciate. Time is running shortly. I am looking forward to a prompt reply.


Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is XXX--originally from China. I am hereby applying for entrance to the XXX master’s program at the University of XXX for the 2012/13 academic year.

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further information in support of my application. My decision about the University of XXX is based on two main reasons. First, this Masters program is extremely suitable to my ability, my professional interest and my career plan. The second reason for my choice originates from the abundant scholarly resources and well-known reputation of the highly qualified education of the University of XXX.

Since I was young I have always had a keen interest in society and humanity. I began to subscribe to the periodicals dealing with current events since junior middle school. After attending the university, I focused more on the economic life of the society and took some elective courses in economics. After finishing undergraduate, I went to study XXX and received the master’s degree. Through the program, I not only made a systematic study of principle of economics, but also learnt the economical analytical methods to public policy, such as Game Theory, Principal-Agent theory and Taxation theory and principles. My master dissertation is to investigate the reform of XXX. My research result was accepted provisionally by the relevant department of local government and I was invited to participate the related discussion. Since then, I found my passion on welfare economics, and I set my profession goal being an economic adviser of welfare policy and contributing to improve the lives of ordinary people.

The comprehensive social welfare system and the advanced attempts in welfare policy reform makes Norway to suit for studying the welfare policy. The health economics is one of the most important parts of welfare policy. The XXX program aims to teach the skills to analysis and evaluate complex policy within health care system. The University of XXX is the only university which offers the program combining economics and social welfare policy in master’s degree. Moreover, the establishment of XXX University Hospital provides the most updated subject of studying the ownership change of medical institutions. Therefore, attending the program will enable me to develop a strong background of knowledge and pave the way for my future research in XXX.

I am eager to learn and a good learner. Even the working hour was around 12 hours, I engaged in advanced studies in spare time and obtained a series of professional credentials in finance. I am able to learn from my mistakes, assuring that they are not repeated. I am comfortable to work alone or as a part of a team. I am flexible and open minded. I enjoy sharing ideas with people from different backgrounds. I am motivated and longing to accept new challenges. I am actively learning Norwegian to receive the new living in Norway.

In summary, I am prepared and excited about the opportunities and challenges waiting for me in the future. I have the required education, motivation and personality to complete the program. Meanwhile, I also believe that my previous knowledge in public policy and my XXX background will contribute to the program.

Thank you in advance for considering my application.

Sincerely yours,
XXX
 

JohnParis

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Dear Zoe1981,

No admissions officer is going to expect you to write perfect English. Your thoughts are communicative and that is the most important thing of all. The following paragraph does, however, need some work.

The comprehensive social welfare system and advances in welfare policy reform makes Norway very suitable for studying welfare policy. Health Economics is one of the most important elements in Norwegian welfare policy, and the XXX program aims to teach the necessary analytical skills to evaluate complex policy within the health care system. The University of XXX is the only university which offers a program combining economics and social welfare policy in a master’s degree. Moreover, the establishment of XXX University Hospital provides the most up-to-date resource for studying ownership change of medical institutions. Therefore, participating in the program will enable me to develop a solid background in XXX and pave the way for my future research in XXX.


 

Zoe1981

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Joined
Nov 27, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
:-D, thank you so much John!
 
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