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  1. rainous's Avatar
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    #1

    which was all she was asking for

    Not only has the husband B not shown any kind of efforts to reconcile the marriage, he has interfered with the parental visitation rights of the wife A, which was all she was asking for.

    The above is a part of a court's final ruling and I was wondering whether the underlined clause meshes well with the rest of the sentence in terms of its style, given that it's a very formal court ruling?

    Would there be more delicate and formal way of rephrasing it that befits the circumstance?

    Thanks

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: which was all she was asking for

    Quote Originally Posted by rainous View Post
    Not only has the husband B not shown any kind of efforts to reconcile the marriage, he has interfered with the parental visitation rights of the wife A, which was all she was asking for.

    The above is a part of a court's final ruling and I was wondering whether the underlined clause meshes well with the rest of the sentence in terms of its style, given that it's a very formal court ruling?

    Would there be more delicate and formal way of rephrasing it that befits the circumstance?

    Thanks
    Of course, you could make it more obscure and less understandable by making it sound more legal, as in "which was her only claim against the husband."
    What you gain in consistency of style, you lose in comprehensibility. Your choice should depend on who your audience/readership is.

  3. rainous's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: which was all she was asking for

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    "which was her only claim against the husband."
    For the sake of variety,
    I think yours is beautiful.

    Good day.

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