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  1. tuebr's Avatar
    Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Dec 2011
    • Posts: 8
    #1

    Wink Here is my first blog for you to review

    Well,finally here I am with my poor English to start a new way. Just as writing the blog I think it is not so hard for me to form a style in writing English. It was really a cold today and I went out to the library to prepare for my toefl test, and the person I missed nearly lost in my mind. I am so admired of people who are optimistic with all the affairs and keep a childhood heart and I hope I will live there too to let my generations have that kind of character. I am still alone but I am not lonely. I don't know what kind of email my cousin will reply so I think before that I need to follow my heart to be a better me. I main when I first wrote a blog in Chinese it was pretty much like this. So my words maybe simple and are with lots of mistakes but that is me and my feeling. I will read more english books which I think is the best way to enhance my english writing.

    I am here waiting for the ''trial''
    Welcome everyone to visit my blog "tuebrcui"in livejournal and make comments Thank you ~

  2. Raymott's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 24,104
    #2

    Re: Here is my first blog for you to review

    Quote Originally Posted by tuebr View Post
    Well,finally here I am with my poor English to start a new way. Just as writing the blog I think it is not so hard for me to form a style in writing English. It was really a cold today and I went out to the library to prepare for my toefl test, and the person I missed nearly lost in my mind. I am so admired of people who are optimistic with all the affairs and keep a childhood heart and I hope I will live there too to let my generations have that kind of character. I am still alone but I am not lonely. I don't know what kind of email my cousin will reply so I think before that I need to follow my heart to be a better me. I main when I first wrote a blog in Chinese it was pretty much like this. So my words maybe simple and are with lots of mistakes but that is me and my feeling. I will read more english books which I think is the best way to enhance my english writing.

    I am here waiting for the ''trial''
    Welcome everyone to visit my blog "tuebrcui"in livejournal and make comments Thank you ~
    So you've planned your blog to be pretty much just a demonstration of your bad English? Do you intend to branch out eventually, say, with some content?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,514
    #3

    Re: Here is my first blog for you to review

    If that's your first blog I can't see many rushing to read your second.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,912
    #4

    Re: Here is my first blog for you to review

    The piece needs a lot of corrections. However, I echo the others' sentiments. That's not a blog. That's like a child's diary "What I did today". If you want people to read your blog, you need to make it interesting, engaging, different.

    There's no reason why you shouldn't start it with "So here I am writing my first blog post in English". However, it should then be followed with information perhaps about why exactly you want to write a blog, why you want to write it in English, mention other blogs you have read and found interesting.

    The one sentence that sounded to me like it might lead somewhere interesting was "I am so admired of people who are optimistic with all the affairs and keep a childhood heart and I hope I will live there too to let my generations have that kind of character." Maybe you should make that the theme of an entire blog post. How do people stay optimistic in the face of adversity? How do they retain their childhood dreams?

    Just in case you like the suggestion, I will give you my version of that one sentence - "I really admire people who remain optimistic about everything they do, and who retain a childlike, innocent outlook on life. I hope that I can pass on such characteristics to my children and future generations."

    Really, telling us it was cold today and that you went to the library is not going to convince people to keep reading.

  4. Over the top's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia

    • Join Date: Jul 2007
    • Posts: 386
    #5

    Re: Here is my first blog for you to review

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    If that's your first blog I can't see many rushing to read your second.
    hahaha can't you say that a little nicer

  5. JohnParis's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Oct 2011
    • Posts: 773
    #6

    Re: Here is my first blog for you to review

    Quote Originally Posted by Over the top View Post
    hahaha can't you say that a little nicer
    Tuebr asked us to "... make comments Thank you ~." In doing so, she/he was probably prepared to hear the best and the worst.

    There is a very useful expression in English for someone that asks for comments but complains about their honesty.

    "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

    Tueber got some excellent advice from emsr2d2 and my guess is that he/she is adult enough to accept it.

  6. tuebr's Avatar
    Newbie
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Dec 2011
    • Posts: 8
    #7

    Re: Here is my first blog for you to review

    This blog is pretty much like a journal. It is just some feeling of myself without preparing for other people to read at first.So, it maybe a little dull. But I am still here to recive everyone's comments .Just let the storm heavier and I am fine with that.
    Thank you for all the comments

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