hey, I am german and I have to write a application for school, could you help me ? ^^

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shakur

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Germany
so this is the text i wrote :

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Dear Ms Harris,

I am writing this letter of the reason that i am planning to do a language course in oxford.I want to improve my Englisgh skills.

I am 20 years old and I live in Germany, to be exact in Stadtlohn a small village next to the dutch border. I have studied English for 10 years and now I would like to visit the language course in Oxford, because a friend of mine told me that Oxford has one of the best English courses in the World and this is the reason why I want to apply. I am planning to stay for 3 weeks and I would like to have a room with one bed. I T WOULD BE GREAT IF i Could get breakfast,lunch and evening meal.

My english level is intermediate so I understand English and speak english well. My interest are football, chess, theatre and going to the cinema with friend , but I also like studying history and English. Now I want to say something about my person, I would say that Iam a person who has his head in the clouds. I am an honest , energetic, friendly, helpful , polite person.

Beforer I finish this letter, i have got some questions. COuld you possibly tell me how much it will cost per week to rent the room and how much will the food cost?

I look forward to the reply.

Your sincerely,
abdul batiev




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what could i wrrite better, i thank you for the response
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
so this is the text i wrote :

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Dear Ms. Harris,

I am writing this letter [STRIKE]of the reason that i am planning to do [/STRIKE] for the purpose of enrolling in a language course [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at Oxford[STRIKE]. I want [/STRIKE]to improve my Englisgh skills.

I am 20 years old and I live in Stadtlohn, Germany, [STRIKE]to be exact in [/STRIKE]Stadtlohn is a small village next to the Dutch border. I have studied English for 10 years and now I would like to [STRIKE]visit the language course [/STRIKE] study English [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE]at Oxford. [STRIKE]because [/STRIKE]A friend [STRIKE]of mine [/STRIKE][STRIKE]told[/STRIKE]has advised me that Oxford has one of the best English courses in the World and this is the reason why I want to apply. I am planning to stay for 3 weeks and I would like to have a room [STRIKE]with one bed[/STRIKE]. And I would like the availability of breakfast,lunch and an evening meal.

My english level is "intermediate" so I understand English and speak english well. My interests are football, chess, theatre and going to the cinema with friends , but I also like studying history and English. Now I want to say something about my person, I would say that I am a person who has his head in the clouds (WHY would you ever make a statement like this in an application for ANYTHING?:shock:). I am an honest , energetic, friendly, helpful and polite. [STRIKE]person.[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Beforer I finish this letter[/STRIKE[STRIKE]], i have got some questions.[/STRIKE]In closing, could you possibly tell me how much it will cost per week to rent the room and [STRIKE]how much will the [/STRIKE]food costs?

I look forward to the reply.

Your sincerely,
abdul batiev




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what could i wrrite better, i thank you for the response

And finally, what can you possibly learn in "3 weeks"?
 

februar

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
German
Home Country
Switzerland
Current Location
Switzerland
Re: hey, I am German and I have to write an application for school, could you help me

So this is the text I wrote:

------------------------------------------------


Dear Ms Harris,

I am writing this letter [STRIKE]of the reason that[/STRIKE] as I am planning to do a language course in Oxford. I want to improve my English skills.

I am 20 years old and [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] live in Germany, to be exact in Stadtlohn, a small village near the Dutch border. I have studied English for 10 years and now I would like to visit the language course in Oxford, because a friend of mine told me that Oxford has one of the best English schools in the world and this is the reason why I want to apply. I am planning to stay for 3 weeks and [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] would like to have a single room [STRIKE]with one bed[/STRIKE]. IT WOULD BE GREAT IF I could get breakfast, lunch and evening meal.

My English level is intermediate so I understand English and speak English well. My interests are football, chess, theatre and going to the cinema with friends, but I also like studying history and English. Now I want to say something about my character, I would say that I am a person who has his head in the clouds. I am an honest, energetic, friendly, helpful, and polite person.

[STRIKE]Before I finish this letter, I have got some questions.[/STRIKE] Could you possibly tell me how much it will cost per week to rent a single room and how much will the food cost?

I look forward to the reply.

Yours sincerely,
abdul batiev

What could I write better, I thank you for the response.

februar, no teacher
 
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