Results 1 to 2 of 2

    • Join Date: Oct 2005
    • Posts: 1
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    A long sentence....

    Imagine a little one who needed to be delivered using obstetric forceps because he weighed over eight pounds, an infant who could cry the loudest of all in the entire post-natal ward, who could make it to the foot end of the bed within the first week of his extra uterine life, who achieved complete bladder and bowel control and could expertly run around corners at eleven months of age.


    In the abovementioned sentence, I have made an attempt to dramatize the infants early milestones by constructing a long sentence. However, the word "who" keep recurring and seems awkward. Is there any other way in which the matter can be put?

    Is the following solution correct?

    Imagine a little one who needed to be delivered using obstetric forceps because he weighed over eight pounds, could cry the loudest of all in the entire post-natal ward, could make it to the foot end of the bed within the first week of his extra uterine life, achieved complete bladder and bowel control and could expertly run around corners at eleven months of age.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 52,360
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: A long sentence....

    It works. You could also use 'Weighing over eight pounds, he needed to be delivered', which cuts a verb down.

Similar Threads

  1. Are the 5 basic sentence patterns sacred?
    By infinikyte in forum General Language Discussions
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 28-Aug-2009, 22:52
  2. in a long time/ for a long time
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 31-May-2009, 16:13
  3. Dear MikeNewYork... sentence fragment
    By wendy in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-Mar-2009, 10:50
  4. Could you check this sentence?
    By critic72 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 23-Jan-2006, 06:58
  5. Attributive Clause - China Needs Your Help
    By ChinaDavid in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-Jan-2005, 16:56

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •