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  1. keannu's Avatar
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    #1

    I'll come to the party.

    In English, I heard when you go to a place away from both the speaker and the listener, you say "I will go", while when you go to the listener's place, you say "I will come to the place", but like in these 2 examples I roughly made up through my experience, there seems to be no strict rules for it, can you tell me what the standard for come and go is?

    ex1)A: Will you come to my birthday party tomorrow?
    B : Sure, I'll be glad to. I'll come to the party.
    ex2)A: Me and my friends are going to Girls Generation's concert tomorrow, Will you also come?
    B:Wow, they're my favorite group, I'll definitely go(come),too.

    If there's a certain fixed rule, I seemed to have heard "come" is used to respect the listener(the other party)'s position, but the following is quite the opposite.
    A: Don't you smoke?
    B: Korean : Yes, I don't smoke. (in case I don't smoke)
    English : No, I don't smoke. (in case I don't smoke)
    The reason why Koreans say "Yes" is it's like saying "Yes, I accept your supposition is true" answering from the other party's position, while "No" in English is answering from the speaker(me)'s position. This is just a cultural difference without any superiority.
    Last edited by keannu; 27-Dec-2011 at 04:01.

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    #2

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    In spoken English, the rules for go/come are pretty relaxed. "Me and my friends are going..." is always wrong, however...

    The asian propensity for saying "yes" in response to a negative question is most exasperating to English speakers. I find it's not so much about agreeing with a position as simply looking for a way- any way- to say yes. Asians often say yes, even when they mean no because they consider it impolite to say anything negative. Confusion is preferred over rudeness. It's one of the first things I have to go over with my students.

    "You don't understand what I'm saying, do you?" "Yes." (yes, I do not understand)
    "Do you mind if I sit down?" (said while pointing to a vacant seat) "Yes." (yes, it's okay to sit there)

    In my travels I've learned that "Yes" is the International Language of Misunderstanding. Americans think it means, "I understand and I agree." What it really means in most places/cases is, "I'm getting some of what you said. Keep talking and maybe it'll start to make sense."

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    #3

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    I don't know about Korean, but I have seen both these questions with Japanese. Go/come are flexible in English- we can often use either. If come is used in the question, it will often be used in the answer- we don't have to answer in accordance with our whereabouts, which is what decides things in Japanese. In your first example, come seems more natural to me as it's an invitation. If it were just asking for confirmation, I could use either.

    The second is just one of those things- there's a logic behind each approach, though the first time I heard someone say Yes, I don't it did strike me as bizarre, but the same would probably be true of hearing me say No, I don't.
    Last edited by Tdol; 27-Dec-2011 at 11:18. Reason: Typo- 'strike'

  2. keannu's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    Quote Originally Posted by J&K Tutoring View Post
    In spoken English, the rules for go/come are pretty relaxed. "Me and my friends are going..." is always wrong, however...

    The asian propensity for saying "yes" in response to a negative question is most exasperating to English speakers. I find it's not so much about agreeing with a position as simply looking for a way- any way- to say yes. Asians often say yes, even when they mean no because they consider it impolite to say anything negative. Confusion is preferred over rudeness. It's one of the first things I have to go over with my students.

    "You don't understand what I'm saying, do you?" "Yes." (yes, I do not understand)
    "Do you mind if I sit down?" (said while pointing to a vacant seat) "Yes." (yes, it's okay to sit there)

    In my travels I've learned that "Yes" is the International Language of Misunderstanding. Americans think it means, "I understand and I agree." What it really means in most places/cases is, "I'm getting some of what you said. Keep talking and maybe it'll start to make sense."
    Did you say come and go are interchangeable not depending on places?

    The reason why Japanese and Koreans answer yes or no the other way around is not because of manners but the deeply rooted concept of answering in that way. They are not showing any manners in that way, they are used to answering in acknowledging the other person's negative question as it is. When they say "yes" it means, "yes, what you said(You don't understand what I'm saying) is right". I'm not saying they are correct, but they are just making a mistake. There's no other reason.
    When they try to answer in English, they first think in Korean or Japanese and then translate to English, so in that process the deeply rooted stereotype blocks the English answering way.

  3. keannu's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    I don't know about Korean, but I have seen both these questions with Japanese. Go/come are flexible in English- we can often use either. If come is used in the question, it will often be used in the answer- we don't have to answer in accordance with our whereabouts, which is what decides things in Japanese. In your first example, come seems more natural to me as it's an invitation. If it were just asking for confirmation, I could use either.
    => So I don't have to be bound by any rules for go and come depending on places?

    The second is just one of those things- there's a logic behind each approach, though the first time I heard someone say Yes, I don't it did stike me as bizarre, but the same would probably be true of hearing me say No, I don't.
    ,,

  4. 5jj's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    Did you say come and go are interchangeable not depending on places?
    They are not normally interchangeable. When used for the first time in a conversation, 'come' is normally used when the movement is towards where the speaker or listener (or both) are - or will be, 'go' when the movement is away from them. However, the difference is not always significant: 'come' appears to have more of an idea of 'accompany' than 'go', and is probably more common in an invitation, as Tdol noted.
    The reason why Japanese and Koreans answer yes or no the other way around is not because of manners but the deeply rooted concept of answering in that way. They are not showing any manners in that way, they are used to answering in acknowledging the other person's negative question as it is. When they say "yes" it means, "yes, what you said (You don't understand what I'm saying) is right". I'm not saying they are correct, but they are just making a mistake. There's no other reason.
    When they try to answer in English, they first think in Korean or Japanese and then translate to English, so in that process the deeply rooted stereotype blocks the English answering way.
    Thank you for making that clear.

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    #7

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    So I don't have to be bound by any rules for go and come depending on places?
    That's taking it too far- if I meet you in the street, I would ask you where you were going as I do not share your destination in any way, but when the destination is in some sense shared, things are more flexible. In my Japanese class, and I was a beginner, I was taught that if someone rang me and asked what time I would come to their house, I would have to use go in my reply as I was not at their house. English is less rigid in that situation.

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    #8

    Re: I'll come to the party.

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    Did you say come and go are interchangeable not depending on places?

    The reason why Japanese and Koreans answer yes or no the other way around is not because of manners but the deeply rooted concept of answering in that way. They are not showing any manners in that way, they are used to answering in acknowledging the other person's negative question as it is. When they say "yes" it means, "yes, what you said(You don't understand what I'm saying) is right". I'm not saying they are correct, but they are just making a mistake. There's no other reason.
    When they try to answer in English, they first think in Korean or Japanese and then translate to English, so in that process the deeply rooted stereotype blocks the English answering way.
    I often said no in Japanese class when I should have said yes, and come instead of go. These things do have deep roots and it is as hard for us as it is for you.

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