elvis93
Junior Member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2010
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Albanian
- Home Country
- Albania
- Current Location
- Italy
Hello guys 
Would you be so kind to correct my essay and make some suggestions about it?
It is my first "historical" essay and surely there are a lot of mistakes.
In this essay, they are considered mostly the negative effects of Industrial Revolution.
Thank you in andvance.
Beyond the thin surface of welfare
The nineteenth century saw the real development and the consequences of a phenomenon which had made its first appearance at the end of the previous century: the Industrial Revolution.
As the rain blesses the plants with water or turns into a dangerous thunderstorm, this process of chenge led at the same tame to great prosperity and great poverty.
Many thinkers, writers and philosophers expressed their opinions and deeply analysed the different aspects of the Industrial Revolution.
For istance, the economist Adam Smith, in his "The Wealth of Nations" gives us a detailed analysis of the new economical structure by showing both its complication and its great efficacy.
He describes the division of labour adn explains its advantages in terms of time, quality and quantity.
On the other hand, in "The Stones of Venice", John Ruskin defines the division of labour as a "division of men".
He sees the men as being lessend to little segments whose piece of intelligence is used only "in making the point of a pin or the head of a nail".
He bitterly attacks the alienating effects of industrialization and highlights that the price of wealth is paid with the loss of humanity since the new system of production has desprived man of their pleasure for working.
The european society was advancing to a state in which the man was turned into a machine which works really long-hours.
As James Nasmyth reports in his "Autobiography", the country is "glowing with fire by day and by night". It is given a real emphasis of the repetitive and constant work of men and machinery which seems to never stop.
The writer makes also a comparison between the artistic beauty of the countryside and the catastrophic consequences that the Industrial Revolution had upon the natural landscapes.
Some years before Nasmyth, the politician William Cobbett had realized how awful were the conditions of the farms.
In "Rural Rides", he clearly states that "the little farmers and their happy families are now sinking into ruins" and in a prosperous country eight people out of twenty are starving.
The english commercial system led to the division of society into two classes: Masters(the employers) and Slaves( the workmen).
While the formers were surrounded by their enchanted wealth, the latter spent their life in poverty in the urban slums.
In conclusion, if we consider the Industrial Revolution as the first step of the modern technology, we should also retain how many sacrifices were made by most workers including women and young children.
Would you be so kind to correct my essay and make some suggestions about it?
It is my first "historical" essay and surely there are a lot of mistakes.
In this essay, they are considered mostly the negative effects of Industrial Revolution.
Thank you in andvance.
Beyond the thin surface of welfare
The nineteenth century saw the real development and the consequences of a phenomenon which had made its first appearance at the end of the previous century: the Industrial Revolution.
As the rain blesses the plants with water or turns into a dangerous thunderstorm, this process of chenge led at the same tame to great prosperity and great poverty.
Many thinkers, writers and philosophers expressed their opinions and deeply analysed the different aspects of the Industrial Revolution.
For istance, the economist Adam Smith, in his "The Wealth of Nations" gives us a detailed analysis of the new economical structure by showing both its complication and its great efficacy.
He describes the division of labour adn explains its advantages in terms of time, quality and quantity.
On the other hand, in "The Stones of Venice", John Ruskin defines the division of labour as a "division of men".
He sees the men as being lessend to little segments whose piece of intelligence is used only "in making the point of a pin or the head of a nail".
He bitterly attacks the alienating effects of industrialization and highlights that the price of wealth is paid with the loss of humanity since the new system of production has desprived man of their pleasure for working.
The european society was advancing to a state in which the man was turned into a machine which works really long-hours.
As James Nasmyth reports in his "Autobiography", the country is "glowing with fire by day and by night". It is given a real emphasis of the repetitive and constant work of men and machinery which seems to never stop.
The writer makes also a comparison between the artistic beauty of the countryside and the catastrophic consequences that the Industrial Revolution had upon the natural landscapes.
Some years before Nasmyth, the politician William Cobbett had realized how awful were the conditions of the farms.
In "Rural Rides", he clearly states that "the little farmers and their happy families are now sinking into ruins" and in a prosperous country eight people out of twenty are starving.
The english commercial system led to the division of society into two classes: Masters(the employers) and Slaves( the workmen).
While the formers were surrounded by their enchanted wealth, the latter spent their life in poverty in the urban slums.
In conclusion, if we consider the Industrial Revolution as the first step of the modern technology, we should also retain how many sacrifices were made by most workers including women and young children.
