Student or Learner
First, thank YOU for viewing this post! I would be grateful if YOU leave a comment
Second, I know that everybody hates reading long and boring post, so I'll try to be short.
I know the basic rules for writing a motivation letter (atleast I hope so) but I have few difficulties whith which I need some help. And they are:
1. I'm applying trough UCAS and my cover letter will be seen by not one but five different universities with slightly different courses( for example, one is Business and Management, another is Business and a language and I even chose one which is Business and Culture Studies)
2. I've studied one year already at a uni in the UK, I want to transfer, but it's impossible for me to explain why, without sounding like I'm trying to insult my current university.
3. I'm not sure that all the points made in the letter are relevant.
4. I suck at English!!!
And here it is( it's not finished, i know, but I just want to see if I'm in the right direction):
Dear admission officers,
I would like to apply for a place in a program in the field of Business at your university, for the term that begins in the fall of 2012. The purpose of the following letter is to present the background of my studies and experience and to demonstrate what influenced my decision to continue my education in the field of Business.
In May 2011 I finished high school in one of the most prestigious schools in the northern part of *- Language School “*”. There I succeeded in gaining basic knowledge in more than fifteen different subjects including Mathematics, IT and Psychology. The ones I emphasized greatly on were English, French and European Literature. My interest in different cultures influenced my attitude to studying languages which on the other hand resulted in me achieving good grades in language classes and also taking additional lessons in English.
During the time I was studying in high school I was emphasizing strongly on my voluntary work. In 2008 I became a volunteer for the Red Cross organization in my home town. After three months of deducted volunteering I was elected a regional coordinator. This is a position which requires responsibility, the ability to work and coordinate people and skills concerned with handling a variety of documents and papers. For two years I was given the opportunity to develop and improve my personal abilities by organizing events, leading seminars, giving presentations and working with documentation.
During that period I also had to participate in seminars and training on regional, national and international level as a trainee. By putting me in situations where I had to work with people from different nations and cultures I received the chance to improve my personal and work skills and broaden my horizons.
Showing leadership qualities and an interest in organizing events I was invited to become a part of the * club in November 2010. Even though the period of time I was a member was respectively short, I strongly believe that it influenced me positively to a great extent. By meeting and working alongside with some of the most prosperous businessman and politics in the region I was able to take a close look at how an organization functions.
Another important and valuable part in my volunteering experience was my engagement with the Youth First Aid Squad (YFAS). Being a member of the team taught me the importance of responsibility and the significance of cooperating with other team members. Working in a team is one of the most important and useful qualities that I inquired while volunteering with the YFAS.
Speaking truthfully, volunteering for the Red Cross, the YFAS and working with *club were the things which made me realize that the path in my life which I wished to embark on is related with working alongside people and organizing social events. That is when I came to the conclusion that business related orientated courses are the ideal starting point for future my career.
I started my higher education in a university in the UK in October 2011. To this moment I study Business and Management, …
Thank you for considering my application. I am looking forward for your response.
Re 2 - I admire your restraint, but your new university will want to know why you want tome. You can avoid bad-mouthing it but still say it doesn't extend you or otherwise meet your requirements.
4 is not true - your command of English is very good, though not flawless
You don't 'empasize on' something. What you're thinking of is probably 'putting emphasis on'.
I'm not sure what you mean by 'deducted volunteering' - perhaps 'dedicated volunteering'?
You don't mean 'respectively short' - 'relatively', perhaps?
'To this moment' is wrong. You can say something like 'Until now', or 'at the moment' followed by some kind of continuous verb. ('am studying' or 'have been studying'.