besmile
Member
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2012
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Vietnamese
- Home Country
- Vietnam
- Current Location
- Vietnam
hello,i'm going to take the ielts test.Could you please evaluate my essay in term of its structure,grammar and fulfillment for me ? and which band could i get with this essay (0-> 9)
thanks
...
topic :
People naturally resist making changes in their lives.What kind of problem can this causes ? what solutions can you suggest ?
essay : (260 words)
Like any issue,change has its 2 faces like the 2-edged sword,however,because of some scares people usually think about the drawback of its.That leads to the matter that some people do not want to have modification in their life even if it is necessary.And that is the source of many problems.
The reasons why some people detest change are various and varied.For instance,some individuals are used to a certain style of life,especially the olds.Moreover,some one might keep in their mind defensive thinkings or some old-fashioned rules which make them follow the old tracks in doing anything as a habit.Being scared by some unsure modifications is also a typical reason.They may have to change their job,their environment to live in e.t.c if the innovation happen.
Although reasons are many,the result seem to be only.Getting bored in life is an obvious consequence,people might have the feeling of safety,but along with it is boring.More serious,if people don't accept new things to update themselves,they will out of steps with the times.Day by day,these ones will become lonely and useless in the society.
From my point of view,people should be flexible and active.Each individual should open their mind to receive new things.Avoiding negative changes is necessary, but accepting positive alternations is also requisite.We can’t deny the essential of change.People should think about the benefits of innovation even if they have to accept a reasonable risk.So that,evaluating pros and cons when according something new is very important.
In conclusion, I want to reemphasize the need of alternation in our life. Because humankind cannot develop without the innovations.
thanks
...
topic :
People naturally resist making changes in their lives.What kind of problem can this causes ? what solutions can you suggest ?
essay : (260 words)
Like any issue,change has its 2 faces like the 2-edged sword,however,because of some scares people usually think about the drawback of its.That leads to the matter that some people do not want to have modification in their life even if it is necessary.And that is the source of many problems.
The reasons why some people detest change are various and varied.For instance,some individuals are used to a certain style of life,especially the olds.Moreover,some one might keep in their mind defensive thinkings or some old-fashioned rules which make them follow the old tracks in doing anything as a habit.Being scared by some unsure modifications is also a typical reason.They may have to change their job,their environment to live in e.t.c if the innovation happen.
Although reasons are many,the result seem to be only.Getting bored in life is an obvious consequence,people might have the feeling of safety,but along with it is boring.More serious,if people don't accept new things to update themselves,they will out of steps with the times.Day by day,these ones will become lonely and useless in the society.
From my point of view,people should be flexible and active.Each individual should open their mind to receive new things.Avoiding negative changes is necessary, but accepting positive alternations is also requisite.We can’t deny the essential of change.People should think about the benefits of innovation even if they have to accept a reasonable risk.So that,evaluating pros and cons when according something new is very important.
In conclusion, I want to reemphasize the need of alternation in our life. Because humankind cannot develop without the innovations.