Please, comment on the opening paragraph of my SoP

[Ellochka]

Dear all,

I would greatly appreciate your suggestions with respect to my Statement of Purpose for LL.M. in European Law. Basically, as I tried to write original introductory paragraph I'm not sure whether it's clear what I imply there.

Practicing law is all about making choices. As for now, it comes down to whether I want to be the person making different claims or the person making a difference. I have been working as an Associate with a Law Firm and that gave me the thorough insight into what legal life in Ukraine looks like. Yet it was only after starting working as an intern in the Committee for European integration of the Parliament of Ukraine that I realized what Ukrainian legislative framework should look like. To be even clearer about this, as I began scrutinizing the best legal practices of EU I understood my long-term goal - that is to dedicate my legal career to fostering European values in Ukraine. From this, I need an LL.M. degree in EU law in order to gain exposure to the European legal system and apply the knowledge acquired upon return to Ukraine. And that is why LL.M. degree in European Law at the very heart of Sweden – namely at Stockholm University – sounds so appealing to me.

Thank you in advance!

 

[billmcd]

Dear all,

I would greatly appreciate your suggestions with respect to my Statement of Purpose for LL.M. in European Law. Basically, as I tried to write original introductory paragraph I'm not sure whether it's clear what I imply there.

Practicing law is all about (? How about "in many ways about") making choices. As for now, it comes down to whether I want to be the person making different claims or the person actually making a difference. I have been working as an Associate with a Law Firm and [STRIKE]that gave [/STRIKE] it has given me a [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] thorough insight into what legal life in Ukraine looks like. Yet it was only after starting working as an intern in the Committee for European Integration of the Parliament of Ukraine that I realized what the Ukrainian legislative framework should look like. To be even clearer about this, as I began scrutinizing the best legal practices of the EU, I understood my long-term goal - that is to dedicate my legal career to fostering European values in Ukraine. From this, I need an LL.M. degree in EU law in order to gain exposure to the European legal system and apply the knowledge acquired upon return to Ukraine. And that is why an LL.M. degree in European Law at the very heart of Sweden – namely at Stockholm University – sounds so appealing to me.

Thank you in advance!

Looks good. I know that articles (a, an, the) are not commonly used in your language, but you might want to consider placing "the" before your references to "Ukraine" as we would in AmE.

 

[Ellochka]

Dear billmcd!
I want to express my deepest appreciation when it comes to your comment. Foremost, I didn't expect such a prompt response and, secondly, hardly would I think about such useful suggestions at on-line forum))
Once again, thank you!

P.S. The only thing I'm not really sure about is 'Ukraine' coupled with 'the'. Yet I'm of the belief that you know better))) In Ukraine, we are just not used to articles)))