I made 7 in the writing section on my first attempt to do IELTS but really need 8.
So any critique ist welcome.

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It has been claimed that visitors should adher to locals customs while staying in a foreign country. Others argue that host countries can be expected to show some openness and tolerance towards visitors behaviour being different from local habits.
This essay will look at some of the arguments in favour and against visitors following local customs while staying abroad.

There are many reasons why visitors should try to behave like locals.
First of all visitors can easily avoid conflicts and express respect for locals and their cultural and religious feelings by behaving like them. Probably the most obvious examples are for tourists to avoid drinking alcohol, wearing revelling clothing and kissing in public if locals consider this behaviour inappropriate.

Nowadays globalisation and tourism already have heavily impacted local customs and traditions so differences between many countries have been evened out. It can be vital for the survival of local customs and traditions that visitors respect them and show some interest.

In addition visitors are more likely to gain insight into a host county and it’s culture by following local customs. Even if they do not know the details culture their behaviour can show interest and locals are probably more welcoming towards visitors behaving sensible.

On the other hand I don‘t think visitors can or should follow local customs in any case.
With cultural difference often being subtle visitors might simply lack knowledge about the local customs. Certainly language barriers, lack of time or interest contribute to keeping visitors from having detailed knowledge of what is considered adequate behaviour. Furthermore if visitors try to imitate a local custom in a dilettantish way it can come across as respect less and inadequate.

Generally some aspect of local customs might clash with the visitors expectations of their stay or holidays in the host country. It is clear that not being able to wear a bikini in public will probably conflict with visitors coming to a country for a beach holiday.

Another point is a host country might profit significantly from tourists vesting and it is reasonable to expect some degree of tolerance and openness towards visitors from the local population.

In summary after considering both point of views i think visitors should make a basic effort to adapt their behaviour in a way that does not conflict with local customs in a foreign country to make their stay more enjoyable for themselves and locals. This might not always be possible or desirable for the visitors so there are times when visitors are better off to follow their own customs.