Here is a comment made by a student about Samantha Garvey, a 17-year-old homeless science whiz:
'I'm sure that Samantha's parents are very proud of her. They must be quite happy that their daughter has achieved her aim. It' s really great for her to be given such quantity of money and it is a good deed from the side of the Suffolk County officials to help her family with dwelling. I hope Samantha will go on making contributions to our science and will get what she deserves.'
I can't agree with two points in it. First, 'such quantity of money'. I think 'such a lot of money' or 'that much money' are better.
Secons, to help her family with dwelling'. I think 'to help her family with housing' would be better.
What do you think?
Thank you in advance.
(Not a Teacher)
I would ad an "a" before "quantity" to make it sound right. "Sum" would also be a good word to use in place of "quantity". I'd replace "from the side of" with "on the part of". I'd drop "our" from "our science". While "aim" isn't wrong, "goal" or even "dream" sound better.
As for your first suggestions, if "such a lot of money" isn't ungrammatical, then it's very unnatural sounding. However, "that much money" is perfectly fine.
In regards to your second suggestion, I agree completely.
Last edited by SlickVic9000; 28-Jan-2012 at 20:57.