Hi

[jacob altafikhahan]

i am jacob. i have to write a letter to home office to asking them for work permit. but my english is not so good that i could write a formal letter . so please is some one there to help me????//

 

[bhaisahab]

Re: hi

I am Jacob. I have to write a letter to the Home Office to asking them for a work permit. But my English is not so good that I could write a formal letter. Please is some one there to help me?

In your profile you state that English is your native language. Is this true?

 

[BobSmith]

Re: hi

The idea is that you post your thoughts and someone helps. How else is anyone going to know what you want to say? I can try though.

Hello home office!

You probably know me, I'm Jacob. Please give me a work permit!

Thanks!
Jacob.

BTW, don't use that.;-)

 

[jacob altafikhahan]

Re: hi

no my native language is persian .

 

[jacob altafikhahan]

Re: hi

hi bob i would be grateful if u would help me?

 

[BobSmith]

Re: hi

My poor excuse for humor has failed. I think you need to post what you think you should send–your ideas, your thoughts, what you think is important–and others will assist you in fixing any problems.

 

[bhaisahab]

Re: hi

Hi Bob I would be grateful if you would help me.

Please use capitals where appropriate and write "you", not "u".

 

[Barb_D]

Re: hi

Jacob, you must write the first draft because we don't know what the letter needs to say.

Pretend you are talking to the person who will read your letter.

What would you say to him or her? Just think through that and then write it down and then we can help you with your grammar, etc.

Please DO make proper use of capital letters, punctuation, and spelling, to the best of your ability.

 

[jacob altafikhahan]

Re: hi

Okey.
thank you for your advice.

 

[jacob altafikhahan]

Re: hi

okey guys i`ll try my best . hope u help me too.

my Adress xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxx
my Home office Reference xxxxxxxx
Dear Sir/Madam
I am Jacob A... , my date of birth is: dd,mm,yyyy , my Home office Reference number is Axxxxx.
I am writing to you to asking for a work permit.
I am living since 2003 in uk. and I don`t have any kind of benefit. I am living with the support of my family from my home country Iran. but I don`t have a rich family.
I have got a son with a British partner. My son gonna be on 8th April 4 years old.I would like to build a better future for my son. I can not live with my partner, because she becomes income support.I can not provide a basic life for my self without working how could i build a better future for my son? I don`t know how can i explain to my son that I don`t have a Right to work in this country just because I am a asylum seeker! I am now young man and I have got a lot of energy for work, after few years I getting old then I could not work as I can now.also i need to proof myself to my son that i do care for him.I promise as soon as i get a work permit I will start to work strait away as I am very active person and I know few skills .
I will send you a copy of my son`s Births certificate.
I would be grateful if you would issue me a work permit.

your faithfully
my signature
Jacob A... date dd,mm,yy

 

[bhaisahab]

Re: hi

okey guys I`ll try my best . hope you help me too.

my Address xxxxxxxxxx You can delete this.
xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Home office Reference xxxxxxxx
date dd,mm,yy

Dear Sir/Madam
I am Jacob A... , my date of birth is: dd,mm,yyyy , my Home office Reference number is Axxxxx.
I am writing to you to ask for a work permit.
I am living in the UK since 2003. and I don`t claim any kind of benefit. I am living with the support of my family from my home country Iran, but I don`t have a rich family.
I have got a son with a British partner. My son is going to be 4 years old on 8th April. I would like to build a better future for my son. I can not live with my partner, because she receives income support. I cannot provide a basic life for my self without working. How can I build a better future for my son? My son doesn't understand that I don't have the right to work because I am an asylum seeker. I am a young man and I have got a lot of energy for work, I need to prove to my son that I do care for him. I promise as soon as I get a work permit I will start work straight away as I am very active person and I have a lot of skills .
I am enclosing a copy of my son`s Birth certificate.
I would be grateful if you would issue me a work permit.

Yours faithfully
my signature
Jacob A...

Your letter was quite good. I have made some amendments to improve it, without using language that might make it obvious that someone had written it for you. Good luck.
PS. I've moved the thread to Editing and Writing Topics.

 

[jacob altafikhahan]

Re: hi

Thank you so much.
No one wrote it for me. what do you think? Is it any good to send it to the home office?

 

[Barb_D]

Re: hi

If you make the changes as suggested, it is.

 

[BobSmith]

Re: hi

Thank you so much.
No one wrote it for me. what do you think? Is it any good to send it to the home office?

What bhaisahab means is, it is not "perfect" but it is now minimally "acceptable", yet it still seems natural, and fits with your style. I think this version is fantastic! And you should send it!

I do note one typo that I would correct: "my self" should be "myself" (one word).

 

[februar]

Re: hi