Can somebody correct my essay, please?

[Ellie24]

If it is possible to give me any pieces of advice about my grammar and vocabulary? Thanks in advance.

It is often difficult for young people to find a good job without previous work experience. Governments should encourage employers to choose young people when they need new workers. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent year it is hard for everyone to find a job, no matter what age they are. I disagree with the idea that employers should compromise with who they choose to hire in order to give young people the chances that they do not deserve, yet. The current system is fair especially to young people with various training schemes on offer, which can open the access to better jobs.

Nowadays, businesses are in fierce competition and are forced to search for the most experienced employees they can have. Also, it can be found in the competition among workers for job places. The bar is higher these days so to undertake work experience would be for the benefit of young people. Otherwise, within a short period of being in the job they will be replaced by those who are were willing to take work experience.

Furthermore, the youth should learn to make their way no matter how many difficulties there are, because life is no going to get any easier. If they rely on someone else, in this case the government, they will not be able to count on their selves in future. Moreover, companies will be much more pleased to hire reliable workers, who know how to cope with every difficulty on their way to success.

However, it can be considered as some kind of discrimination, because the companies will be forced to hire younger people. For instance, if a candidate is not between the ages of 20-25, they would not be good enough for the job, even if they are more experienced. Age should not be criteria for hiring staff.

In conclusion, what the government can do is encourage young people to undertake years of work experience. That way, during a sort period of time, they will enhance their qualities and improve the knowledge about their future job. Also, older and more experienced people should not be left aside, because they have been down to the same road at some point and did not receive any help, as well.